Doing my duty

Monday, boo hiss, what a shame after such a nice (long) weekend. Well, it had to end, I guess. Hope you had a great weekend too.

Remember when I mentioned about being called for jury duty but it was the week I was to be gone to our convention? Turns out I am in jury group 21, which wasn’t called up until today! So today at 12:30 I will report for jury duty. I’ve done it twice before, both some years ago. I enjoy jury duty. Well, perhaps enjoy isn’t the proper word. It isn’t exactly fun, can be upsetting, boring, brutal and a whole mix of emotions. But I like participating in justice, seeing that it is as fair as possible, and it is quite interesting, too. I’d recommend serving on a jury at least once in your life, just to get an inside view of how the courts and the criminal justice system work.

The parking today will be a bit tricky though, as my regular parking is quite a distance from the courthouse. And I’m wondering if my free courthouse parking will start at 6:45, when I need to park for work, or at 12:30 when I report for jury duty. So, will I need to move the jeep between that time, or just risk parking in the courthouse parking lot? It’s sort of weird to have to report in the afternoon, not in the morning like the last two times I served. But it will all work out. I may get dismissed after the first day, but I hope not. There’s a two-week span where I can get called up again if I get dismissed this time. But I think a week of it has already gone by, so maybe today will be my last chance. Have you ever been called for jury duty or served on a jury?

I’m not sure how Bosszila and the work gang will feel about it as I hadn’t discussed it with her. She pretty much had yelled at me and left without giving me time for any sort of reply or other discussion, twice. It was about the OT that she said (before the convention) that I could have. She was upset with me when she saw it on my timesheet. Go figure. At least she said, “Well, I’ll still pay you but…..” so it could have been worse. But she had OK’d it already! Is she really that forgetful or just messing with my head?

I took a “Are you politically savvy at work?” quizzy thing and got a high score. So why then isn’t the knowledge helping me much at my job? I think, after spending entirely TOO MUCH thought about this that it’s because of two reasons:

1) I’m too much of a pushover and not respected
2) I’m too invisible at work.

Hmmm, that’s all fine and good to realize those things, but now what do I do about it? Guess I’ll outline some steps at improving the situation, if I can. It doesn’t help that most of my co-workers (and Bosszila) are far younger than I am, some not much older than my son. Any suggestions will be warmly welcomed!

Random Acts of Discombobulation(Grant) had a great quiz he made for other bloggers to take. I followed his lead and made up a quiz for myself, too. I didn’t put a lot of thought into it, it was kind of spur of the moment. There even are some typos in it, imagine that! Ha ha. This is such a fun idea that I may do it again. It’s kind of like a meme but much better as you get to make up the questions yourself! Try my quiz, if you’d like and then (even more fun!) make up one for yourself. Please let me know if you do, I’d like to take your quiz!

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

OK, last night I set two mousetraps. Hope they work! Have a great Monday, if you can.
__________________

The critters in and around my house

I can tell that it’s getting cold outside because there are creatures in my house. And I don’t mean my pets! Friday on my day off I was rinsing out the coffeepot in the sink before making new coffee. And there in a brown paper bag with cereal boxes in it was a little brown mouse staring back at me! I grabbed the bag and took it outside, tipped it on its side and let the mouse out onto the frozen grass. It probably came back in the house before dark. Our house is very crowded and I don’t have much cupboard space so I have a large plastic storage container with groceries in it with a tight lid near the sink. On top of this storage container was the paper bag with the cereal boxes that didn’t fit into the container! I don’t know how the mouse ever got into the bag when it was up so high. I think it’s time for another food storage container.

Spotting critters number #2 and #3 happened when I was reading and commenting on blogs on Friday. I have window blinds which normally are open but the sun was shining directly on my computer screen so I had shut the blinds. Something caught my eye and there on the blinds was this huge shadow of a spider creeping up on a buzzing fly caught in his web! Wish I could have taken a photo of it. It would have made a great Halloween picture! The fly got away the first time, but then the spider was creeping up on it again but I got preoccupied with reading blogs and I don’t know how it all turned out. Don’t you wish you lived in my house with this much available (free) spooky entertainment? Later when the sun had moved, I put up the blinds and there was no sign of the spider or any flies in the window.

And outside the house on Friday, while I had the ferrets outside, was raking leaves, burying compost and doing outside chores I saw critters #4 and #5. First, up on the huge mound of black dirt that I use for the gardens was a dead hawk! I don’t know why it had died but felt instantly guilty from my childhood training that if something bad happened, somehow it’s my fault. The death actually may BE my fault because of the squirrels in the not quite-a-crawl-space above the ceiling in the house. I could hear them running around and CHEWING on things! Which was scary because there are electrical wires up there. First I tried to live-trap them, then regular trap them and finally as a last resort used poisoned peanut butter. I think the last method worked but now I wonder if the poor hawk ate one of the poisoned squirrels and died? I really am against the use of poison for just that reason and use it as the last resort. Or maybe the hawk had just flown into a window or gotten hit by a car and flew into my dirt pile. It looked like it might have been shot, as it had a wound in the shoulder and neck. Poor thing. They are a beautiful bird.

Creature number #5 was the curious little chipmunk that watched me rake leaves, inspected the ferrets and observed me looking at the poor dead hawk. It came very close and even chattered at me! When I walked towards it, it ran and dived into a hole in the ground. The ferrets were in their cage nearby playing with the pile of leaves I had put in the cage. I had dragged the heavy cage out into the sun as it was barely warm enough for the ferrets to be outside on Friday.

Well that was “creature Friday” but yesterday I went to the Vegetable Man’s house. He was busy as always, painting fence portions and digging large holes for various things. He changed clothes and took me into the larger nearby town (not the little one where the rummage was held) to rent a movie. We stopped at the Super Store and bought some oranges and pears, too. While in the checkout I realized I was behind a familiar person, Kate with several of the foster girls she cares for. Kate and I used to work together when I was working nights (and also working days, had two jobs) and we had not lost touch since then. She had wanted to call me on Friday because she had to go into the city for something with the girls. I had thought of calling her on Friday, too, but hadn’t because it’s hard for her to get away and find a sitter. I never call Kate for last minute things but give her time to make plans. So the moral of the story is, I should have called her anyway, I guess!

Vegetable Man and I never got around to watching the movie, but afterwards we had cold grilled porkchops, oranges and pears for a late-night dinner. Not a vegetable in sight! The porkchops were awesome cold, or maybe I was just really really hungry after all the exercise. I will say it, I’ll admit that “friends plus” definitely has advantages! But we had another talk about love and relationships and I have the feeling that all of this may not end well. I’m OK with the concept as long as nobody else is involved, but if he actually DID start dating someone else? That’s a horrible, icky thing to think about for sure. Hopefully we could go back to “friends, period” with no plus on it, but my heart isn’t so obedient about stuff like that! It would be a shame to ruin such a long-term friendship…but then there are those benefits...and it's really kind of late to go back now.

Have a wonderful Sunday! Hope you have better weather than here, we have overcast, cold and rain.

Where I came from

I sure didn't sleep in this morning! Woke up at 2:30 a.m. and didn't get back to sleep at all since then. So I'll be tired early today, too bad. But at least it's a Saturday!

Yesterday on my day off I went to see the new movie “North Country” of which a portion of it was filmed nearby. Remember my post on the opportunity to be an extra in a movie? This movie was the one, and no, my friends and I had to work that day so didn’t get in the movie. Watching it hit so close to home (literally) that I cried all of the way through it. So I can’t say that I enjoyed the movie, exactly, but they did get it right: from the clothing down to the boots, the language, the culture of my childhood. There are some Bob Dylan songs in the movie, of course (I own 13 of his albums)! And I had pajamas just like that little girl when I was a child. I had such an emotional reaction to/from this movie that I needed to wash my face in the ladies room afterwards just to be presentable.

That’s the culture and the background that I came from. My Dad was much like the husband in the movie except my Mom didn’t leave him. And she worked 42 years for the railroad, starting at age 18 at a time when women were not welcome. In fact my Mother’s first job assignment was in a depot in the town near where the Vegetable Man lives! I don’t know if it was ever as bad as at the mines but I remember her talking with her best friend, also working for the RR about their distress about girlie magazines and calendars and some of the nasty things the men said to them. Things got better for them, mostly because of the union and not so much because of the culture changing that quickly. In fact that’s still one of the major reasons that I don’t get along with my two brothers all that well, I’m the divorced black sheep of my family, pretty much like the families portrayed in the movie. My background and history is the reason I like unions too, they’re not perfect but help protect the workers. I come from that culture, beer is still my alcoholic beverage of choice with hard liquor a second only for special occasions. The country bar we celebrated Houseguest’s birthday in was like the bar in the movie.

The movie is taken from a real story that happened only in the ‘80’s, not that long ago. Anita Hill was in the news then and my son was a little guy back then. The only unrealistic thing about the movie was that she just jumped into her truck even in the winter without starting problems, scraping the windows and defrosting the inside, or having to shovel piles of snow! A reviewer of the movie said, “Saddled with broad, unfortunate Minn-eee-soh-TAHH accents…” among other unflattering things. There are a lot of negative reviews on the movie, almost more than positive reviews. I can’t honestly rate the movie as it hits too close to home, childhood and background for me. Have you seen it, what did you think of it?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I’ve taken the “Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you” thingy several times and always end up as ND himself. No wonder I like that movie so much! Loaned it to Vegetable Man but I don’t think he’s watched it yet, too busy with work, outside chores and getting ready for winter. He IM’d me yesterday while I was blogging and then phoned while I was raking leaves outside with the ferrets. I deferred driving to the farm yesterday because I plan to go to a rummage sale with SLA, Houseguest and SLA's sisters today in the small town nearby, where my Mom worked at 18. SLA and her Houseguest grew up there, too, long before I’d met SLA (met her in college). I plan to stop at Vegetable Man’s place on the way back home. He IM’d me again later in the evening while I was looking up stuff online and checking out blogs just to confirm our plans. What are your plans for today? Hope there’s some fun involved in there somewhere!

Yay for Friday!

I’m off from, not to work today, yay yay. Even slept in, although I woke up several times especially right around the time I would normally get up. Can't remember when I have last done that. Even during the past weekend I was waking up at 3:00 a.m., it was ugly. Sleeping in was easy to do this morning, though, because the house is so cold and it's warm under the covers!

Sorry, I should have more empathy for those working today, I know what that's like but at least it's Friday today. Bosszila did appear at work yesterday, just as she’d promised. But the thought of having today off sustained me through everything that happened at work. After work I met SLA at a little restaurant that’s part of a hotel. I hadn’t been there for a long time. I brought her the little country shopper papers with ads in them that I get from my Mom. SLA is looking for an apartment and sometimes the country places are cheaper and more apt to allow pets. Hope she finds something good, soon. She has to be out of her house in a week! But will stay with her older sister if she doesn’t find something by then.

I’ve been tagged for a meme by Fizzy
If you haven’t already, go and read her cool answers to the meme!

Fizzy’s Meme•

Name someone with the same birthday as you.
. 1982 LeAnn Rimes (country singer)
• 1969 Jason Priestley (actor)
• 1965 Shania Twain (country singer)
• 1960 Emma Samms (actress)
• 1958 Scott Hamilton (iceskater)
• 1957 Daniel Stern (actor)
• 1951 Wayne Osmond (singer)
• 1948 Daniel Seriphine (musician)
• 1946 David Soul (actor)
• 1930 Ben Gazzara (actor)
• 1929 Roxie Roker (actress)
• 1925 Donald O'Connor (actor, dancer)
• 1925 Billy Grammer (singer)
• 1924 Peggy Ryan (actress)
• 1921 Nancy Kulp (actress)
• 1889 Charles Boyer (actor)
• 1825 Karl Ulrichs, (first known gay activist)
• 1749 Johann Goethe (writer)
and
• "I have a dream" speech was on August 28, 1963, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial during the March on Washington. My son was born the same day as MLK! (January 15) but not the same year, of course.

Yes, I definitely get into the birthday thing way too much.

Where was your first kiss?
On a sidewalk of the first city I ever lived in. He was an older man, probably about 25 (I was a teenager).

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
No. Unless you count public bathrooms or signs!

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes, of course. I grew up with brothers!

Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
No, never all by myself. Have sang a few times as part of a group.

What's the first things you notice about the preferred sex?
That little buzz, a sexy vibe. After that, beautiful eyes, thick soft hair and built!

What really turns you on?
Great conversation and laughs, shared food, eye to eye contact, a very physical and direct approach.

What do you order at Starbucks?
Mocha with no whipped cream on top.

What is your biggest mistake?
There are so many, let’s see, dropping out of school (university) to get married wasn’t such a great idea, in hindsight. Also the guy I married wasn’t a good pick. He was foreign-born and sort of a local celebrity and I was a teenager from the farm and a bit besotted with him.

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Nope, I married someone (see above) who did the job for me.

Say something totally random about yourself.
I would love to be able to fly!

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes, at several points in my life. I’m not going to tell the one that someone last said I looked like though, ouch!

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Yes, the Vegetable Man likes them, he can be a big kid.

Did you have braces?
Nope, we couldn't afford them when I was a kid.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Yes, I am now. When I was younger I always wanted to be a tiny 5’ or 5’ 1”. Short women who keep mentioning and bragging about how short they are still annoy me, though as it’s luck not a virtue!

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
That would be a long list! Strewing a path of red rose petals right to the bed. Feeding me by candlelight, no silverware. Carrying me in from the car (it was raining and there were puddles). Lying (together) in the grass pointing out the stars for me would be a few.

When do you know it's love?
I have a physical, emotional and mental turning towards that person, a change in perspective.

Do you speak any other languages?
Nope, have tried several (mostly Spanish) in various times in my life with no success.

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Yes, but not for a long, long time. I hate them.

What magazines do you read?
I don’t have much time to read but get National Geographic, Smithsonian, New Yorker and Jane. Sometimes I flip through them but usually end up giving them away, unread to Mom and my friends.

Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Nope, I was hoping when I was in DC last September, but, no it was just a car!

Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes.

Do you watch MTV?
No, no cable or satellite dish. I would like to watch it occasionally. I like popular culture stuff.

What's something that really annoys you?
So many things! Bad drivers, mean people, people who don’t clean up after themselves. Fussy, picky, whiny eaters drive me nuts! I was taught to eat what I’m given, or just stir it around on the plate (if I don’t like it) and pretend I’m not hungry. I consider it very rude to demand special food or food made in a certain particular way! But I’m certainly in the minority there, I know.

What's something you really like?
Also so many things! Coffee and conversation with a loved one or a good friend. Crazy wild good times with my friends, A dark starry night, cuddling under the covers, a brisk walk in brisk weather, A beautiful moon hovering over the water, sparkly new-fallen snow (but not if I have to drive in it), listening to a really good CD, dancing to a really good CD, slow dancing, kissing. Well, that’s enough now, I could go on and on!

Do you like Michael Jackson?
I can’t even answer this one. Well, I used to like his music, I guess.

Can you dance?
I love to dance, so I CAN dance. How well would be up for interpretation, though.

What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
When I worked two FT jobs I only slept four hours per day/night for two years. I think I’ve stayed up 36 hours at the most all at once.

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room ?
Never. Yikes! I have ridden in an ambulance taking someone else, though.

Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Yes! I love to read these! But always feel my comments about them are totally inadequate after the person has revealed so much about themselves.

This was fun! Have a great Friday, I know I will!

Today is my Friday!!

Today is my Friday because I have tomorrow off. With everything that Bosszilla has been throwing my way this week I’m sure glad, whew. I was looking forward to HER being gone today too, but as she was leaving she said, “See you tomorrow.” Drat, she must have changed her mind about taking both days off or (dare I hope) she made a mistake in her parting salutation.

I briefly lost my Evanescence “Fallen” CD in my shuffling it back and forth from car to home. I had thought I had grabbed it on the way to work and put it into the car CD player but when I pushed the button Sisters of Mercy music came out. That was OK for the ride to work and again on the way home, but what happened to “Fallen”? When my son came home late at night from work I started fussing about it to him. He looked for it too and then went out to the jeep. It was so quiet outside that I could hear him laughing. He came back inside shaking his head, “I’ve never seen that. Did the player work OK?” I thought back, I DID have to push the button about three times to persuade it to play, and it’s a brand new CD player. Apparently I had put “Fallen” inside the player right on top of Sisters of Mercy, so the bottom CD was the one that played. I’m glad to have recovered the “lost” CD but it was a bit scratched. Hope it still plays OK. I didn't know you could double-decker CDs and still have them (bottom one) play.

Have you ever done something (dumb) like that?

My blog has risen in value!

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

Last week it was in the negative numbers.

From my E-mail
Hard to please
A Wal-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, T X, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates. There are only 6 floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper goes up to the higher floors. There is, however, a catch....
As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Wal-Mart Husband Store to find a husband......
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" but still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart's Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building and have a nice day!

As we say around here too, have a nice day!

New assignment: The Office Bitch, or sinking down the corporate ladder

On Monday, the first day most the staff was back (I returned on Friday) Bosszila had a project for me. I was thinking maybe it would be a cool project like contracts or something like that. It wasn’t. My special project is to clean the office! Yikes, I wouldn’t mind so much if people cleaned up after themselves. But as I’ve said before, they don’t. The supply cabinet is a mess because of co-workers rummaging around and just tossing things they don’t want in their office into it. I also have to label everything. Guess someone has to do it and I’m the lowest ranking person there since they haven’t hired a new receptionist or helper.

I normally do keep things neat and organized but with two back to back events and three trips in a short amount of time, things have gotten a bit rummaged. Bosszila wants it organized for our MOVE. We’re moving to a new office space, not picked out yet. Normally I like change but this one has me a bit nervous. Since I’m doing the job of the receptionist, am I going to be put sitting at a desk in front? I really enjoy having my own office with a door even if I seldom shut it. When I was younger, I put in years as a receptionist and lower level clerical. In the past (lots of) years, I’ve gone for higher level jobs and had thought this job was that of an archive librarian. But since the beginning I’ve sunk instead of rising on the corporate ladder.

Last night I worked sort of late again, went home and ended up driving to the farm. While there I feel asleep in Vegetable Man’s arms (a good way to end the day!). His house is cold because he doesn’t have his wood-burning stove going yet. He did clean the chimney last weekend, though. It must have been about 50 F inside the house, pretty nippy. And it was quite late so I was groggy on the drive home but didn’t see any deer. The only deer I normally see are within a couple miles from home and I did see two on the drive out.

From my E-mail
Higher Bidding
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Some Quotes
"According to the energy department, high gas prices may be around for the next six months. After that they'll be followed by really high gas prices." --Jay Leno

"President Bush has pledged to grant millions of dollars in tax breaks to national casino companies rushing to rebuild casinos along the Gulf Coast, giving residents who haven't already lost their house a chance to do so." --Daily Show commentator Lewis Black

"I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me." –Unknown

Wrong Number
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

The Race
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Today we have a convention debriefing. Happy Hump day to you!

Fat Burgers

Last night I had my coat on, bag in hand to leave work and the phone rang. It was Vegetable Man. It was already ten minutes past my quit-time and I had been looking forward to resuming my regular work hours all day after ten to sixteen hour days! But I stayed and talked to him almost a half hour, about movies (Fight Club and Napoleon Dynamite) and sex (he’s thinking about trying Viagra—I don’t know how I feel about that, it’s not necessary!) and health and a whole bunch of things. Basically he was hoping I’d drive to the farm after work but I had already set my heart on spending a peaceful night at home. Still, I was tempted but decided not to after the long conversation. I just wanted to get home and eat homemade food, sit on my own couch and read some books I’d bought used from Amazon.

So I stopped to fill up the truck with gasoline and buy some milk after work, then went home to make hamburgers. I’d stopped for groceries on the drive back from my Mom’s on Sunday night. I formed four patties and tried to make them as thin as possible, as I don’t like thick hamburgers, sprinkled the meat with chili powder and cayenne and started looking for an onion. There were no onions left. I looked again, still no onions. I wished I still had a hamburger press, as the burgers were fresh and puffed up as they were cooking. They weren’t that thin anymore.

The burgers were starting to sizzle and they were naked with no onions on them! I love onions fried up with my burgers, they taste too plain without. So in desperation I minced three cloves of garlic, added a bunch of curry and a bit of Worcestershire sauce. How do you pronounce that? We call it “Wor-chest-shure” sauce, but I’ve heard it said many different ways. I put a top on the skillet and went to look up some information online.

When the burgers were done on one side, I flipped them all over and added more cayenne, chili powder and curry. They were starting to smell pretty good, but not like my regular burgers. Then I cut up swiss and sharp cheddar cheese thinly for the tops. My home-made burgers must have two types of cheese on them. Sometimes it’s other kinds but usually cheddar and swiss. My little dog always begs for a bit of cheese, and she usually gets it, too!

I took out a sesame-seeded hamburger bun, thinly sliced a garden tomato and with a spatula, scooped out a burger and all the nice melted cheese on its top and sides. The burger didn’t need any BBQ sauce, catsup or any condiments to make it good! It was a different taste than I’m used to having, but I liked it. The burger turned out much better than I had thought. Had figured a hamburger without being fried with onions would be barely worth eating! You will notice that I added no salt to the burgers. I’ve been cutting down on salt for years, plus the cheese has salt in it. But I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of wonderful veggie creations I might have had if I had driven out to the farm and eaten dinner with Vegetable Man.

After eating one of the burgers, I found a dish and put the other three into the refrigerator for my son when he comes home from work. No, he probably will eat just one burger, too, not all three! But the remaining burgers will be around for his lunch later and maybe even one left for my dinner tonight.

So, how do you like your burgers made?

From my E-mail
Life Choices
In 1923, Who Was...?

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days.

Now, 82 years later, history tells us what ultimately became of them.

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.

So, what became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, and died in 1999 at the ripe old age of 95! He was *very* financially secure at the time of his death.

The moral here:

Forget work.

Play golf!

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
In the job interview the employer asked the applicant, "I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," "Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win. “

”If I was late to work, I was hostile.”

”If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive."

“If I was too quiet, I was depressed. If I was happy, I was manic”

“So what happened?” the job interviewer asked.
“I left with unresolved issues” replied the applicant.

Hope you have a great Tuesday with no unresolved issues!

Is it a work day already again?

Monday, geez seems like I just got off on Friday. Oh well, it was a good weekend, hope yours was too.

I do remember a couple of things from the trip: when flying out, which seems long long ago now, on the plane I sat next to an 85-year-old doctor from the Mayo Clinic. He was dressed up in a tweed suit and had his hat balanced on his knee. He looked sort of professorial and natural in his suit, like he wore a suit all the time. We got to talking and he was the most interesting person, told me stories about during the war and pointed out (when we were coming in to land) the farm he grew up on as a child. He was coming back to Cleveland for his 60th Medical School Reunion!

He still works as a consultant to the Mayo and said it’s difficult to keep up with all the medical updates nowadays. His wife, sadly, has altzeimer’s and he almost couldn’t go to his reunion because he had to find someone to care for her for the three days he would be gone. They have been married for 58 years, which is longer than my parents were. We also talked about how expensive medical tests are now and how some sort of socialized or nationalized medicine would probably be for the better. He seemed quite old, of course, but not ailing, like so many elderly people. He walked briskly off the plane, we said our goodbyes and he stood near the gate making phone calls on his cell phone, his hat in his other hand.

Have you met any interesting people lately? (Excluding bloggers, of course. We are all interesting in our own way and are fascinating people!)

From my E-mail
Tough Customer
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me exactly what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click.'"

Quick Quotes
"The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything." --Mark Twain

"The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing in- comprehensible words and a high note that normal humans can not hit without risk of a hernia." --Dave Barry

Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said "Let's play doctor."

"Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue."
______

Battling Egos
A bishop, a judge, and a conductor were discussing their careers, and got into an argument about which of them was the greatest.

The judge said, "When I step into the courtroom, everyone stands to pay me respect."

The bishop said, "They stand? I have people kneel before me and kiss my ring."

To which the conductor replied, "Ha! I got you both beat. When I step on the podium people look down, cover their eyes, and say 'Oh my God!'

Have a great Monday!

Back to my normal life

I had a very fine Saturday, a day of just doing things I wanted to do! Listened to Evanescence’s “Fallen” CD most of the day. Love that music, it may be my new favorite CD. I can still hear it in my head!

Met with HIR (Home Improvement Rural) at the Red Mug. She is having Bosszila problems and was very stressed out from a bad yearly review. Well, it wasn’t all bad but detriorated into a confrontation. She was still feeling sick about it and debating whether or not she needed to go and apologize to her superviser. She had been working such long hours (and me, too) that we haven’t been able to get together for weeks. She’s a curator and they just opened a new exhibit. I’d kind of like to go and see it but will wait for things to cool down a little first.

Her Bosszila had interviewed my mother for a history tape and HIR gave it to me yesterday. I know my mother is self-conscious about stuff like that and probably would not want me to listen to the tape before giving it to her. So I was thinking, what if I had the tape copied (so I have it), give the original to my Mom, and keep the copy without listening to it? Does that sound ethical to you? I really want a copy of the interview and wish my Dad had been interviewed about his childhood and wartime experiences, too.

While I was out of town my older brother had his birthday and Amanda and Anton (the married friends) their anniversary. Time goes by so slowly and so strangely that I barely knew what day of the week or what date it was while I was gone. And even when I did know, the significance of the day/date wasn’t there for me.

Also hung out with my son a bit yesterday and watched “Fight Club”. I had not seen that movie before and it was a mind-twister, not at all the way I thought it was going to be. I had thought it was all about fighting and kind of a guy’s movie. Instead it was sort of artsy and rather like an independent film. Have you seen that movie, and what did you think of it?

Vegetable Man called while we were watching the movie and I didn't pick up the phone nor call him back. I didn't want to get into a long conversation while watching "Fight Club" and didn't want to be coaxed to drive out to the farm, either, I've traveled enough lately and just want to enjoy being home! Also, I haven't seen him for over two weeks and sad to say, my heart grows FAINTER, not fonder with absence! I've tried to distance myself a little from that situation, as he does not feel the same about me as I do about him. Self protection, I guess.

From my E-mail, for Sunday:
Church Bulletin Bloopers
A worm welcome to all who have come today.

Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.

Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits

Well, today is the day I go to see my Mom, missed seeing her last week but sent her a postcard, of course. Have a super Sunday!

Saturday is a day of rest

Oh, it’s SO good to be home! I spent all of Friday working, of course. Called the garage two blocks away from work and they had a cancellation, so I got the jeep in to be fixed, too. It had a list of things wrong with it by this time. But despite a repair bill a page long, it was slightly under $300. Not bad for car repair. The man who owns the garage is a sweetheart (and has beautiful eyes too!).

After picking up the truck from the garage I met SLA at the bar/restaurant/laundramat and had a burger and beer. They were going out again but I just could not, too tired. SLA was plotting how she could set it up to not have to work at all anymore. I know she’s had a bad time of it, but seeing her all fresh and ready to go out for a fun night, and setting things in motion so she won’t have to work--she hasn’t worked since February, just hit me wrong, probably because I’ve been slaving away for long hours for the past couple of weeks. Am I a bad friend? Is it just envy on my part? I do envy people who don’t need to work, or only need to work part time and can choose what sort of work they do. They are lucky lucky people who have a lot more time and LIFE than we wage slaves do.

Got home at 7:30 pm and read a few blogs. Read the sad news of Kevin’s (of Humble Tidbits of Vacuity father. I don’t know why people say “lost” when a loved one dies, it’s not like they were misplaced or something. Maybe saying “died” sounds just too harsh. But it is a loss, so perhaps “lost” is apt after all. A death of a loved one is so personal, and leaves a hole in your life where they once interacted with you.

Quite a few of the Fed Ex boxes came back yesterday and I got to open, sort and put things away. I won’t be traveling for work again for quite a while, and that’s good. The trip and the convention went very well, even better than the last one, which was good, too. I talked to all sorts of people all day long, every day from 5:00 in the morning until 10:00 at night most days. It was long and grueling but I started out fresh and full of energy each day—until the last night and the Grand Finale. I was so tired that I could barely speak, hoarse, sore legs and feet, and was quite the mess in general. But the attendees were getting tired after all those days by that time and weren’t as lively and demanding any more either. I left the event early that night, only 9:00 pm (after the regular 5:00 am start, of course), to do some of the boxing up of our materials for shipping back to the office.

There were many funny incidents which I should have taken the time to write in my notebook journal, like I normally do. I didn’t write a single bit all the time I was there, just fell into bed exhausted each night and bounded out of bed early the next day. Now, sadly, I can’t remember the cute little quotes and incidents clearly. But maybe with some catch-up rest they will come back to me. I’m feeling a lot less run-down already this morning, with the happy prospect of a day off! I need to get groceries, as the cupboards and refrigerator are empty. And hope to meet with the Scone Club today and resume my normal life. Have a great Saturday!

Hey, I’m back

I’m back, exhausted but back home and getting ready for work today. The plane got in at 10:10 last night, which doesn’t sound that late but by the time I actually got home and settled down, it was past midnight. The convention was mostly fun, with a few stresses along the way, of course, like any large event. The good part is that I’ll get a lot of overtime pay!

Haven’t even checked my E-mail yet for any good jokes or newsy notes. I missed all of you--and my normal life! Of course it wasn't too normal for the past many weeks with the long work hours. But now that's done, and I'm back to a mere 8-hour work day, yay! And Happy Friday to you!

Back next Friday

After all the promises I’ve been making, today is finally the day that I will be gone, until next Friday.

Yesterday morning I read a stirring essay from Michelle at Justitia about “Belief in the future is perhaps the most important value for a free society.” It’s a thought-provoking piece and I urge you to go and check it out.

Vegetable Man called me at work twice yesterday. But it was too late in the week. I got home at 7:45 p.m. last night, totally and completely exhausted. I didn’t have time to drive to the farm all this week. I’ll miss him, probably even more now, after two nice phone interludes. Thanks a lot Vman! (but no, he doesn’t read or even know about this blog)

He sent me a joke:
Why can’t Buddha vacuum under the couch?
-because he has no attachments.

Cute joke but it just reminds me what a mess my house is in and how I really ought to vacuum before I leave!

Oooh, I found another really scary thing! Putting my hand deep into my mailbox in the pitch black at the end of my driveway is pretty scary. I can just imagine something being in the mailbox, ready to bite my fingers off. I’ve had to do it a few times now, with all this working late.

Bosszilla has been sweet to me all week. I will have to call her Bossilla instead. So now you will be able to tell by the spelling which character is out! Bossilla gave me all kinds of overtime. Yes, I certainly did earn it, but it’s pretty sweet to be able to get it. My paycheck will be nice, nice nice. Almost worth the soul-draining effort.

Well, finally finally I am off. Have a great week, I’ll miss all of you!

Time goes on

We put a good dent in the work yesterday. I might actually get done with it by the time I have to go on Friday! Tuesday night I watched Boston Legal, one of my very favorite TV shows. James Spader as Alan Shore is my favorite (loved him in that weird movie "Secretary"), but there are many strange characters on the show. I really like the mix of ages and personalities.

We didn’t get the oil changed in the cars last night. I got off from work too late plus I am pooping out, got exhausted and just wanted to go home. There’s a sink full of dishes that I really ought to tackle before going to work. I was so tired that I pulled up to the gas pump, got out of the car and forgot why I was there(momentary, of course).

I picked out my clothes to bring last night. They all are slinky, silky and slippery, no tweedy stuff or sweaters (because of the horrible itchy spots, remember?) Either this morning before I go to work or tonight I'll see how many of them actually fit into my suitcase. That suitcase looks so big until I start putting everything, including shoe changes, into it. Then I need to pick out earrings and jewelry to match the outfits.

A scary thing happened yesterday, but not to me, good goodness. One of my co-workers came rushing into my office crying "Do you have the number for the elevator?" I was in the middle of work, of course, so looked up and kind of went "Huh?" The co-worker was very agitated, "There's someone stuck in the elevator, pounding on the door to get out!" I was very calm, only because I had been dealing with work crisis all day, and the elevator thing wasn't happening to me! So I said, "I don't have a number for the elevator. Elevators have a phone with the number posted INSIDE of them. But I can call the building managers, and they will know." (weird to quote yourself, isn't it!) So I called the building managers and soon the poor distraught man was out of the elevator.

Yikes, I would be petrified to be stuck in an elevator. Until I started working in a office on the 7th floor, I wasn't in the habit of ever taking elevators to go to work. I didn't like riding in them, too close, too crowded, and they used to just make me nervous. Thought I was pretty much over that, but guess not. Just the thought of getting stuck in an elevator gives me the creeps.

Maybe I could dress as an elevator for Halloween, ha ha! What gives YOU the creeps?

A spotted day

More boxes out yesterday. I had wanted to go a bit earlier to get the oil changed in our cars but the Fed Ex man came right when I wanted to leave. And it was the slow guy again who takes forever to check in the packages and haul them down to his truck. As soon as he was done, I rushed off to the station, but they closed at 6:00 p.m. and I was too late.

The good news is that I got my cell phone back. I got my cell phone back! So I was actually able to call my son and stop him on his way down to the station. Why have him waste the gas. We are going to try to get the cars done again tonight after work. And it looks like a trip to the farm to see Vegetable Man before I leave for a week is out of the question, sigh. Guess I’ll send him (and a bunch of other friends) a postcard.

I’m going to be worn out before I ever even get to the convention! Yesterday was another 11-hour work day with no breaks or lunch. And I seem to have broken out in large red itchy spots. Gross. But at least they aren’t on my face! So it could be worse. Still haven’t decided what to bring with me to wear. These itchy spots may change which clothes what I want to take, though!

I applied for an expense advance which will help as I haven’t had time to go to the bank. Banks, as you’ve probably noticed like I have, keep Banker’s hours and aren’t open when I’m off work. I did figure out payment for two bills, though and can get them in the mail today. Don’t know if I’ll get to figuring out the rest.

I’m going to be carrying a lot of cash on the plane, for work, not personal cash. I’ll have all of the presenter’s pay and a whole wad of cash for tips (to bus drivers, etc.). The pay is in check form, at least, but the tip money will be close to $1,000 in small envelopes. Hope airport security doesn’t get curious about that! I also have to carry my laptop and a personal emergency bag in case my suitcase gets delayed or lost.

from my E-mail (these are old, but still kind of funny)
The Captain’s Mystery Guide
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.

However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. Afterwards, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious.

Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.

One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters.

He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...

The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper; two lines with two words each:

Port Left
Starboard Right

The Pirate
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off".

"Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

"Ahhhh...", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."

"Zounds!" remarked the sailor. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye", answered the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well..." said the pirate, "..it was me first day with the hook."

The Lineup
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.

Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.

One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol ... Sol ..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes, it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

A How to
Jimmy Piersall, on how to diaper a baby:

"Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond, with you at bat.

Then, fold second-base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.

Put first-base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.

Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call-the-game and start all over again."

I'm sorry that I've been so lax in reading and commenting on your blogs. The hotel has a business center with internet access and it would be great if I could read blogs from there. The problem is that it closes by 7:00 p.m. and that's just too early. I'm scheduled to work from 5:45 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. most days of the convention. Also, I probably will want to sleep in my "spare" time, to be honest! Hope you all don't forget me in your own busy lives! Have a great day.

Work work work

All I talk about is work. And how being gone for a week is going to put a hole in my life. Well it will, work does that. Don’t you wish you didn’t have to work sometimes? Think of all the great things you could do instead. Except we’d be very poor and it's hard to do much of anything without any money!

I had to wait and wait for computer use this morning. My time is already limited but my son had come home from work late and was still on the computer in the morning when I got up. That happens every once in awhile but the rule is that he must get off and let me have my paltrey little time before work. I like to post, then go take my shower, come back and read as many blogs as I can (usually not very many) and then finish getting ready and leave for work. But today he had to finish up something so I showered first, and have to quickly write something and maybe have time to read a couple of blogs. And you wonder why I’m not very creative—at least that’s my excuse!

Monday was a busy day, we shipped out over 50 Fed Ex boxes. It took the poor Fed Ex guy an hour to check them all in with his little clicker machine and then cart them down to the street. But I didn’t have to pack them all myself, for the first time in years we hired a temp to come and help. She’s coming back today to help us too. I worked eleven hours with no break or lunch and was pretty tired when I got home. Still haven’t packed or done a couple of things I need to do before I leave for an entire week. Vegetable Man wanted me to come out to the farm one of the evenings before leaving, too. I have only three evenings left!

I was going to do my bills last night but spent most of yesterday figuring reimbursements and the presenter’s checks. So by the time I got home, all I wanted to do was read blogs! I scrambled some eggs with onions, garlic and cheese and that was dinner.

We got paid and I received a windfall on my paycheck, got a bunch of overtime. I need to trim down the amount I owe for this computer. I’m glad I bought it but it was a big expediture. Also need to get my vehicle fixed. In only a couple of days there has been three things wrong with it, two new ones since the driver’s door won’t open. I did stop at a repair place on the way home from my Mom’s on Sunday but they were almost closing and couldn’t take in any more vehicles. And yesterday I called the repair place that’s only a couple of blocks from work. But they are booked up until next week and next week doesn’t work for me as I’ll be out of town. If they have a cancellation in the next couple of days, they will call me. Otherwise I’ll just have to wait until I get back and have it fixed the last week of October.

There’s still so much to get done that I really feel I’m running out of time! Hope you have a super Tuesday

Countdown to leaving again

Well, I’d better get all of my work done in the next four days because I’m leaving for the convention early on Friday morning. I’m not packed for it yet and still haven’t picked out clothes for that week. I may cheat and just throw a bunch of black stuff in the suitcase to mix and match. It usually works out fine. Black things can go almost anywhere. I do have to remember to remove the blood red nail polish from my fingernails before I go, though! Because I’m not trying to make a statement or anything, just dress appropriately, comfortably and with enough outfit changes. I am bringing my retro paisley dress for the Rock Hall of Fame reception, though.

There is SO much work still to be done! Today will be mostly shipping the 100+ boxes to the hotel.

from my E-mail
Short oneliners
You don't pay taxes; they take taxes.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

When it seems you can't forgive, remember how much YOU have been forgiven.

Centipede: An ant built to government specifications.

"You want us to do WHAT?" -- Ancient Chinese wall engineer.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

The hardest thing to disguise is your feelings when you put a lot of relatives on the bus for home.

What is it about politics that turns otherwise decent folk into egotistical, narrow-minded bullies?

A great actor can bring tears to our eyes. But then, so can an auto mechanic.

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

The bad news is; time flies. The good news is; you're the pilot.

Procrastinate Later.

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.

Change is good but dollars are better.

A promise is a debt.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Quick Quotes
"It's autumn in New York. You can tell too. Today I saw a sidewalk vendor putting anti-freeze in the hot dog water." --Dave Letterman
---
"Regis Philbin says his upcoming Christmas album will feature a duet with him and Donald Trump. I guess the idea is you play it when you want your relatives to go home." --Jay Leno

A Great Idea!
1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "HOUSEWORK"

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

Have a great Monday, or at least the best you can!

The things I didn't do on Saturday

Mmmmm tired today, I think Friday night is catching up with me. I didn't nap on Saturday at all and went to bed fairly late. That's the trouble with working longer hours, you just want some life in there somewhere too and what suffers is sleep time. I had wanted to go out to the farm to see Vegetable Man, yesterday was a beautiful autumn day. But he was working.

It was so nice that I even had the ferrets outside a bit in the afternoon. They look like wild ceatures but have thin fur and get cold easily so can't tolerate cold weather well. I had to go and buy some household supplies, cleaned the house a little, went through my piles of junk mail (but I open the good stuff and bills right away). The scone club didn't meet yesterday and it's been weeks. My friend HIR (home improvement, rural) has been working on an exhibit at the museum and can't get away even for a quick lunch. The two married friends and I were going to drive to an apple festival on Saturday, but something came up for them. So I missed all of them. What DID I do all yesterday anyway? I may not have been napping but I must have been sleepwalking!

Today would have been a great day for another meme, but, wait--I have one!

I found this one at Restless Angel’splace a while ago. She had a bunch of cool stuff to do.

10 Favorites
Colors: Blue and green
Food: apples
Band/Singer: my choices change, right now Marilyn Manson and U2 (quite a combo!)
Song: My Sharona, by the Knack
Movie: Napoleon Dynamite, Kill Bills
Sport: Football
Season: Spring/Early fall
Day of the Week: Saturday
Ice Cream Flavor: Turtle
Time of Day: Sunrise, or sunset

9 Currents
Mood: Tired
Taste: That first (and only) morning cup of coffee!
Clothes: a pretty rummage sale blouse with leaves all over it, comfortable jeans
Desktop Picture: Just those clouds.
Toenail color: Dark red, so dark it looks black
Time: 8:42 a.m.
Surroundings: The living/dining/kitchen/bedroom/computer room. It’s an all-in-one.
Annoyance(s): Having to go to work tomorrow
Thought: How can this be October already?

8 Firsts
Best friend: Barb and Jean.
Kiss: Dan
Screen Name: Don’t remember
Pet: Queenie.
Piercing: Did my own ears in the college dorm at 18.
Crush: Allen, in grade school
Music: you remember hearing Oldies that my Mom and Dad listened to on the radio.
Car: Ford Mustang Mach I

7 Lasts
Cigarette: In April
Drink: Water when I first got up, and now some coffee.
Car ride: Coming home from the store
Kiss: last week.
Movie: Watched Shrek, two weeks ago
CD: U2
Pee: When I first got out of bed.

6 Have you Evers
Dated One of Your Best Friends: Yes!
Broken the Law: Yes, if you count speeding
Been Arrested: No
Skinny Dipped: Yes, many times
Been on TV: Yes, a couple of times
Been Drunk: Yes, not that long ago!

5 things
You're Wearing: blue and green blouse, jeans, watch, earrings, bare feet
You Can't Live Without: Friends, family, internet, notebook, books
You Can Hear Right Now: The sound of my keyboard, gurgles from the refrigerator, an airplane overhead, it’s very quiet on a Sunday.
You hate: meanness, cruelty, ice storms, hail, bad drivers

4 Places You've Been
Central America, California, Florida, Colorado, Idaho

3 People You Can Tell Anything To
My three best friends.

2 Choices
Black or White Black
Hot or Cold Hot

1 Thing You Want to Do Before You Die
Learn Spanish

Book Game By Texas Biscuit
The rules:
1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the text of the next three sentences (6-8) on your blog with these instructions.
5. Don't you "dare" dig for that cool or intellectual book in your closet!!! I *know* you thought about it!! Just pick up whatever's closest!

“We don’t realize that any deep feeling, pleasurable or painful can be a wave we surf home into ourselves, into love.”
“The Translucent Revolution” by Arjuna Ardagh

from my E-mail
Men and Women
Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
A: Women working at 900 numbers.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him.

Q: Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
A: No phone numbers.

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Life changing game
The minister drove into a sand trap. He picked up his golf club, broke it but didn't say a word.

Then he picked up the golf bag and tore it to shreds but didn't say a word.

He then took out all the golf balls and flung them into the woods but did not say one word.

Finally he muttered, "I'm going have to give it up."

"Golf?" asked the caddie.

"No" he replied. "The ministry."

The Lord’s Army

Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.

The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" Jack replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I almost never see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

Jack whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Yeah, OK, this has gone on long enough. Have a great Sunday!

Party like a rock star

Yawn, it's far later than I normally post and there's a reason. Last night SLA's houseguest had her birthday and wanted to "party like a rock star" so we went to a country bar in a nearby state. It was quite a drive for me, about halfway to my Mom's house. They didn't want to go until 9:00, so even though I worked a 10-hour day, it was nowhere near that time when I got home. Good thing I went home first, though, because although I didn't have time to nap, we were requested to wear all black for her birthday. So I wore a long black skirt, mesh tights, black blouse and jacket. Also painted my nails in the same dark blood-red that I do my toenails, put on lipstick to match and it looked like Halloween had arrived early!

I also needed to have a card and gift for her. I found my Stamping Up stuff, which I had never opened or really looked at yet and made her a card. It had an ink smudge on it, though, and I didn’t have time to make another one. Her gift was a coffee mug from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a chocolate bar. She loved them both.

Friday night is Karaoke at that bar and SLA and Houseguest love it and apparently go there quite often, as everyone seemed to know them. We ended up with a fun group of eight people or so. We did a lot of dancing both as a large group and as couples. Houseguest also ended up getting quite smashed and had some pretty outrageous dance moves—so we got a lot of cheers every time we went out on to the dance floor as a group.

There was a nice guy who ended up hitting on every single one of us women in the group. Bad move, because SLA and Houseguest’s co-worker were actually quite interested in him, but who wants somebody like that? Actually Houseguest and SLA ended up fighting over him several times, even in the parking lot after the bar had closed and kicked us all out. It wasn’t that Houseguest was interested in him, she was criticizing his dress and SLA was getting mad at her and telling her to shut up. Because they live together, those two are like siblings. He, meanwhile was bouncing back and forth from SLA to Houseguest’s co-worker, and even me, who had not expressed any particular interest in him.

But I had problems of my own at the time. The driver’s door of my vehicle couldn’t open Friday morning when I needed to go to work. It still didn’t open when I got off of work, and, of course it didn’t open in the bar parking lot either. So, once again I had to crawl over from the passenger’s side, ever done that in a Jeep? With a long skirt and heels? My foot hit the flashers and that pretty well stopped the fighting between SLA and Houseguest. Temporarily, anyway.

We were standing in that parking lot, either fighting or trying to decide where to go to eat for at least an hour. It was cold out, too, we had to scrape the ice off our car windows. There were some cars still parked there, even though everyone else had left. So a couple of us wrote messages in the frost in the car windows while the others either fought or tried to decide where to go to eat.

Finally, because I had been up for 24-hours and was getting cold and tired started to drive off, yelling out the window, “See you at Perkin’s!” So the party finally broke up and we all went there, where SLA and Houseguest got into it again. The undecided man had gone home with his brother, which was probably for the best.

When I got home it was 5:00 a.m. I slept pretty good until almost 8:00 and then kept waking up, but I kept trying to sleep until almost 10:00. When I finally got up this morning I wasn’t hung over at all, which was pretty amazing considering the large quantities I’d inbibed. People had kept buying us drinks, guess we were pretty entertaining!

So that was Houseguest’s birthday bash, hope she remembers some of it! Have a great Saturday!

The straight scoop

Hmmm, it’s a week until I leave for Cleveland again and I’ll be there for a week for our convention. There’s a symmetry to that! I still haven’t decided what to wear for all of those days. My clothes must be dressy, yet comfortable to wear for 15 hours of work. They must be interchangeable outfits so there will be a new combo for every day, and they must not be something like I just wore to DC or to Cleveland last week. That counts out just about everything I own! I really don’t want to buy any more clothes and I really have no time to shop for them.

I worked my now-usual 10-hour day with no lunch and then went to met SLA and houseguest at the bar/laundramat/restaurant. While in the laundramat we all got to talking to a woman doing clothes nearby. She asked me “Where do you work?” and I said “After griping about it for the past 45-minutes, I think I’d better not say!” And we all had a good laugh, but I really should be more careful. In my defense, I had a really bad day and just reached the end of my rope several times. Each time it was with a staff member or with the company I’m (trying to) manage for our convention. They are trying to weasel out of doing just about anything they can. And I can argue all I want with them but basically have to get along with them and have a good relationship in front of our clients at the convention. At this point I want to never see, hear or deal with any of them again. But I get to spend a week together with them, working long hours.

So I asked SLA “Is it me? Am I just a bitch to work with?” and SLA and houseguest advised me that I am very pleasant and easy to get along with, but that it could be part of the problem. They said that I tend to be too agreeable and other people can push me around.

It’s good to have friends to give you the straight scoop on things. Hope you’ve got some to do that for you, too.

I’m going to volunteer to be a reference for that company when this is all done—and give them the worst reference possible! Do you think they will catch on?

From my E-mail
Neat Trick
My husband and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one evening when we heard sobbing coming from three-year-old Billy's room. Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Dad!"

Your Tax Dollars
Late one night in the Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

Hey, happy happy finally Friday to you!

No snow yet, good

Had a busy ten-hour workday yesterday. But then I went to the farm! Vegetable Man had a mum for me, a pale yellow one. Also I brought home some tomatoes, cucumbers and squash. It was quite late when I got home and my son didn’t ask me what I’d been doing, this time!

I love the farm and it’s neat to see it taking shape from the dreams and talk of over a decade ago. I remember when Vegetable Man had planned out a pond, in the middle of brush and swamp grass—and now there is a beautiful pond with ducks and geese on it (sometimes). And lots of large gardens with a farmer’s dream, sandy soil. I have clay soil with rocks, here, and it isn’t great for gardening.

Of course Vegetable Man is harvesting his vegetables because of night frosts. Today, again, we are predicted to get slushy snow. We actually haven’t gotten any yet despite several predictions of snow. But one of these days we will get some because it’s been so cold and windy.

I’m not sure if I’m glad or not that it's Thursday. On one hand it's good that the weekend is nearing. But it also means I'm running out of time to get everything done before our convention. And I'll be gone from home a week, working long hours. Well, anyway, have a great Thursday!

from my E-mail
Signs that you are Webbed Out...

Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"

Your best friend is someone you have never met.

You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on puddle, sending your car careening toward the flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and death. You look for the "Back" button.

Your dog has his own Web page.

So does your hamster.

... And the No. top sign that you have overdosed on the WWW:

When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

Windy weather

I was going to do another meme today, but the last one was so long that I decided not. Although it was a pretty easy one to do, just answering questions! It’s windy around here today. In fact it’s so windy that I’m amazed we still have our electricity and phone service (so far).

Speaking of phone, we each have cell phones for work. I was the last one to get one. I know they’re a perk but I got sort of used to having one. I didn’t use it for personal stuff—except if our house phone service went off—to call the phone repair people. Well, I don’t have it any more and am not happy about it. Ex-favorite co-worker lost her cell in DC and guess what? They made me give mine to her! They said it was only for the weekend, but I don’t have it back yet. That bites. I hope it's not like my assigned work laptop. Bosszila took it during her materity leave and never gave it back.

It's so windy and they're still predicting snow! It will be a mess for driving if that happens.

From my E-mail
A Long Life
An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. "Sir, what is the secret of your long life?"

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, "Every day at 9 PM I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I've heard."

The reporter replied, "That's ALL?"

The man smiled, "That, and canceling my voyage on the Titanic."

Forrest Gump (an old one, but cute)
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd! be Today and Tomorrow. The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . ..."

"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Have a great Wednesday, Hump Day!

Maybe snow?

Yesterday was another ten-hour day at work but at least Bosszila didn’t “talk” to me. And now she’s gone on a trip, whew. We’re actually supposed to get snow this week, boo hiss. Since it’s only the beginning of October, it won’t stay on the ground.

A meme from Restless Angel

Things I have done in my lifetime, as of today:

Been in a wet t-shirt contest – Nope, yuck.

Stolen a car - no.

Been dumped – Yes, a couple of times but usually I’m the dump-er.

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back – Yes, sadly.

Gone on a blind date – Yes, a couple of times. It’s sort of like playing the lottery.

Had a crush on a teacher – Yes, in junior high.

Skipped school – Never until I got to college.

Seen someone die – No.

Been to Mexico - Yes.

Thrown up in a bar - Yes.

Eaten Sushi – No, least favorite co-worker is always raving about it.

Been snowboarding – No, but I used to love skiing.

Been moshing at a concert - No

Made a snow angel – Yes, many times every winter.

Had a tea party – Yes, with scones too.

Flown a kite – Yes, what fun!

Jumped into a pile of leaves – Yes, every fall.

Gone sledding – Try to do it every winter.

Cheated while playing a game – No. Really. I don’t like games.

Fallen asleep at work/school – Yes to both. Especially when I was working two FT jobs and one (of course) was at night.

Used a fake ID - Never.

Watched the sunset – Love to. Like watching the sunrise even better.

Touched a snake – Yes, had them for pets.

Slept beneath the stars – Yes, and love it!

Been tickled – Yes, but I hate it.

Been robbed – Yes, I’ve had three different homes/apartments and a hotel room broken into but only our old home and the hotel room were robbed.

Been misunderstood – Yes, especially as work.

Pet a reindeer/goat – Yes to both. I used to own some goats.

Won a contest – A few, I’m not extremely lucky though.

Run a red light – Yes, recently! Luckily nobody saw me do it.

Been suspended from school – Never.

Been in a car accident – Yes, several.

Had braces – Nope.

Felt like an outcast – Yes, depends on the group.

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - Never.

Had deja vu - Yes

Danced in the moonlight – Yes, I love moonlight!

Hated the way you look – No. I know we’re supposed to say all kinds of bad things about ourselves but I kind of like how I look. I look like me!

Witnessed a crime – Yes, many times in our old, rough neighborhood.

Pole danced – Yes, as a joke with a friend.

Been obsessed with post-it notes – Not really, I use them a lot at work, but never at home.

Walked barefoot through the mud – Yes. I walk barefoot as much as possible and love it!

Been lost – Often. This past weekend, in fact.

Swam in the ocean – Yes, both the A and P.

Felt like dying – Yup with the flu or a bad hangover. I wished I would die, anyway.

Cried yourself to sleep – Yes, a few times.

Played cops and robbers – Yes, as a kid.

Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers – Not too recently but this year. Does that count?

Sung karaoke - Yes twice in work-related events. I don’t really see the point of it.

Paid for a meal with only coins – coffee, not an entire meal.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't – A few times.

Made prank phone calls when you were younger – No.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose – Yes, as a kid.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue – Yes, all the time in the winter.

Danced naked in the rain - Yes.

Written a letter to Santa Claus – A few times.

Been kissed under the mistletoe – Yes, a few times.

Blown bubbles – Yes, and it’s fun to do outside.

Had a bonfire on the beach – Yes, and we took turns jumping over it. SLA burnt her boot in the fire.

Gone rollerblading - Nope.

Screamed the word penis in public – No.

Ate dog/cat food – Yes, on a dare.

Told a complete stranger you loved them - No.

Kissed a mirror – No..

Sang in the shower – Yes, and alone in the car.

Had a dream that you married someone – Yes, and other more weird dreams.

Glued your hand to something – No.

Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - Never.

Kissed a fish – Nope.

Worn the opposite sex's clothes – Yes.

Been a cheerleader – Nope.

Sat on a roof top - Yes

Screamed at the top of your lungs - Yes.

Stayed up all night – Many a time.

Picked and ate an apple right off the tree – Yes, that’s how they taste the best.

Climbed a tree – Yes.

Believed in ghosts - Yes, and have seen them, too.

Gone streaking – Yes.

Been skinny dipping – Yes.

Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on - Yep.

Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger – Yes.

Broken a bone – Yes, some little ones, nothing major.

Been easily amused – Yes.

Caught a fish then ate it – Yes, a few times. Cleaned them myself too.

Caught a butterfly – Yes, then felt bad because the powdery stuff on its wings came off.

Laughed so hard you cried - Often.

Cried so hard you laughed – Only a couple of times when I realized how pathetic I looked and sounded.

Mooned/flashed someone - Yes.

Had someone moon/flash you – Yes, many times.

Cheated on a test – Nope.

Forgotten someone's name – All too often.

Slept naked – Used to all the time.

French braided someone's hair – Yes

Grew a beard - Nope, and since I'm a girl--thank goodness!

From my E-mail. (I’m still hoping to get selected for a jury.)
You Know You Need A New Lawyer When:

- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.

- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

- He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."

It feels like it should be Friday already, but it's only Tuesday! Have a great day!

Playing with the pagans

Can you guess that I had a super-duper, fantastic, really good time at the Pagan Pride event? I can’t remember when I last had such unadulterated, good fun! The two-and-a-half-hour ride down was comfortable. I sat alone in the back seat of the car. The other potential passenger worked nights and didn’t make the pickup spot on time. The witch (for that is what she calls herself) and her teenaged cool daughter sat in the front.

They were not what I was expecting. I had a new-age type woman sit by me in the airport in Cleveland and I was expecting my kind driver to be sort of like her, a bit pretentious and a bit of a snob in gorgeous flowing, hand-made clothing from some co-op in a third-world country, spouting references to mythological gods and goddesses. Instead the mother/daughter duo were intense, honest, a few tattoos and piercings, black-clad people, sort of like Goths, gritty and real. The car was old, a little battered and smelled like dogs and cats. The car seats had animal hairs all over and some sort of unfamiliar rock music was playing. They live near my old (rough) neighborhood in town. I had an interesting trip down to the Cities with them, as you can well imagine!

They told me funny stories of botched rituals and what to expect from the other pagans. Good thing I was fore-warned about the many strange costumes and modes of dress I would be seeing! I think my jaw might have dropped open at viewing men in long and short skirts and kilts, people dressed in black hooded robes, people in white muslin robes with a rope for a belt, men in fur and deer antlers and of course, the colorful, flowing hand-made clothing that I had thought of when I thought of pagans. The really odd and wonderful thing was after spending only an hour or two at the event, the strange costumes began to look sort of normal—just very interesting normal!

If I was looking for a man, this event would have been a happy hunting ground! There were so many drool-worthy pagan guys that it made my head spin: the witty adorable fire-throwing man, so cute and perky, the tall, kilted absurdly handsome magazine publisher with long black hair flowing down his back (he sat right next to me and I could barely breathe at first! He looked like one of those guys on the cover of a bodice-ripper novel.), and the guy in black leather who smelled like licorice, just to name a couple of the hot guys at this event.

There were plenty of activities to choose from: Bardic Challenges of poetry, songs, stories, chants and music. Filk Challenges: taking a well-known song and replacing the original lyrics. Translation Challenges: translating the meaning of an ancient text. Saga-Go-Rounds, Toast or Boast.
Mystik Toyz where toys from all over the world were first demonstrated, and then the audience of all ages was invited up to play with the toys, it got very chaotic and there was some wild tribal music to go with it! The pagan press room had free food: some huge subway sandwiches, chips and sweets. There was a labyrinth (remember me writing about them in my old blog?) for walking meditation outside.

Everywhere I went the people smelled SO good, I wanted to smell as wonderful as the pagans! There were all sorts of vendors and I bought things: three funny bumper stickers for SLA, a calendar, a T-shirt “Live by the Sun. Love by the Moon” some Nag Champa incense, and some “Karma” perfumed oil. There also was some gorgeous hand-made jewelry that I wish I could have purchased and some stones.

There was a belly dance troupe who were simply wonderful! They were strong, sexy women of all sizes dancing to a live band. The audience clapped along with the drums and many of the women and little kids in the audience joined in the dancing. Speaking of drums, the sound was everywhere. I really love the sound of drums. If I hadn’t before, I do now!

Witch Woman and I were exhausted when we drove back home (cool teen-aged daughter had found another ride) but so wound up that we discussed politics, religion, home-schooling and children all the way back. It’s so refreshing to be able to talk about those subjects openly and honestly!

And today is Monday, a work day. I’d rather be playing with the pagans! So how was your weekend?

From my E-mail
Actual Lines from Resumes

I am very detail-oreinted.

My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.

You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!

I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.

Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.

Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date.

Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

Previous experience: Self-employed--a fiasco.

Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.

Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

I am a rabid typist.

Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.

I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.

I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

Special Skills: Speak English.

Served as assistant sore manager.

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.

Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.

Mom, on Saturday instead

Well, got my ride to the PP thingy straightened out. The woman who’s giving me a ride is a bit older than me and has been a (good) witch for 30 years. She’s into herbal stuff, as Wicca is mostly that and not a religion to her. There’s so much fear and prejudice about Wicca and witches, I blame the popular media and yes, organized religion. It just doesn’t seem to be a good answer to “What Would Jesus Do?” for his followers to hate and shun people like gays, witches and anyone who doesn’t follow an exact, narrow little line. I’ve read the New Testament and that’s not the interpretation that I got out of it, to hate people different than me! But religion is a dangerous topic to bring up in any sort of public setting, so let’s drop that subject and go on to something a bit safer.

My Mom was glad to see me yesterday, even though it changed her schedule. I didn't get to do my other Saturday errands except for groceries on the way home. My son was even home to help carry in all of the water and groceries. Nice for me, because he usually is gone at work!

From my E-mail
The Church Sign
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year- old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

The Dinner Party
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch.

She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.

That night, the phone rang during dinner, and Becky let the answering machine get the call. There was a nervous stir from the guests and Becky's face dropped as the voice leaving the message called out, loud and clear "It's the Poison Control Center. We just wanted to check back with you. How did the spaghetti sauce turn out?"