A spotted day

More boxes out yesterday. I had wanted to go a bit earlier to get the oil changed in our cars but the Fed Ex man came right when I wanted to leave. And it was the slow guy again who takes forever to check in the packages and haul them down to his truck. As soon as he was done, I rushed off to the station, but they closed at 6:00 p.m. and I was too late.

The good news is that I got my cell phone back. I got my cell phone back! So I was actually able to call my son and stop him on his way down to the station. Why have him waste the gas. We are going to try to get the cars done again tonight after work. And it looks like a trip to the farm to see Vegetable Man before I leave for a week is out of the question, sigh. Guess I’ll send him (and a bunch of other friends) a postcard.

I’m going to be worn out before I ever even get to the convention! Yesterday was another 11-hour work day with no breaks or lunch. And I seem to have broken out in large red itchy spots. Gross. But at least they aren’t on my face! So it could be worse. Still haven’t decided what to bring with me to wear. These itchy spots may change which clothes what I want to take, though!

I applied for an expense advance which will help as I haven’t had time to go to the bank. Banks, as you’ve probably noticed like I have, keep Banker’s hours and aren’t open when I’m off work. I did figure out payment for two bills, though and can get them in the mail today. Don’t know if I’ll get to figuring out the rest.

I’m going to be carrying a lot of cash on the plane, for work, not personal cash. I’ll have all of the presenter’s pay and a whole wad of cash for tips (to bus drivers, etc.). The pay is in check form, at least, but the tip money will be close to $1,000 in small envelopes. Hope airport security doesn’t get curious about that! I also have to carry my laptop and a personal emergency bag in case my suitcase gets delayed or lost.

from my E-mail (these are old, but still kind of funny)
The Captain’s Mystery Guide
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.

However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. Afterwards, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious.

Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.

One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters.

He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...

The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper; two lines with two words each:

Port Left
Starboard Right

The Pirate
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off".

"Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

"Ahhhh...", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."

"Zounds!" remarked the sailor. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye", answered the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well..." said the pirate, "..it was me first day with the hook."

The Lineup
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.

Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.

One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol ... Sol ..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes, it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

A How to
Jimmy Piersall, on how to diaper a baby:

"Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond, with you at bat.

Then, fold second-base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.

Put first-base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.

Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call-the-game and start all over again."

I'm sorry that I've been so lax in reading and commenting on your blogs. The hotel has a business center with internet access and it would be great if I could read blogs from there. The problem is that it closes by 7:00 p.m. and that's just too early. I'm scheduled to work from 5:45 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. most days of the convention. Also, I probably will want to sleep in my "spare" time, to be honest! Hope you all don't forget me in your own busy lives! Have a great day.