Friday, March 31, 2006

Another too exciting day, sigh

My friends seem to think I live a really exciting life. Maybe it's the stories I tell them (all true) or just that I seem to (they say) be always going somewhere or attending some interesting event. That might be partially true, as I cannot stand to do the same thing over and over and seek variety and new experiences. Thursday night I was planning to attend a play "Habitat" at the Friends meeting place. I was hoping to go with a friend (ha ha) or my Mom, if she was interested. We didn't go, however. Yesterday's exciting day had nothing to do with that!

It started with a court date for my son. It was called a "pre-trial" and he told me that it really did look like a lawyer show on TV. He had been picked up for expired tabs shortly after we moved here. During the stop, which was in our old state, he was unable to produce proof of insurance so a court date was set. This was one of those fill-the-room-with-people type of hearings. He brought an insurance form but the court didn't accept it and set a pre-trial for March 30th.

During that time he tried to get the driver's license changed to our new state, because we had only 30 days to do that and he was afraid if the court found out he still had only his old one, he'd be in trouble for that, too. After five trips to the Driver's License Dept he still didn't have a valid DL for our new state. I even went with him for the 4th trip, thinking somehow I could vouch for him that he lives with me, in the new state. That's allowed for registering for voting, so I (foolishly) thought it might work. Nope. My DL took less than five minutes to do that entire thing, including the photo and the laminated card!

Well, my son was really nervous about this new court thingy, because while he had proof of insurance, which is all they were asking for, he didn't have a DL from our new state yet. So he arrived early and had an opportunity to speak to the prosecutor. After a bit of small talk, she told him she'd ask to dismiss the case. So he went in the court feeling better, but hoping it would all work out well. It did, the judge briefly looked at his insurance form and dismissed it. My son went to pay his tabs and that was it! He called me at work to tell me the good news and he and several friends were going to a pizza place to celebrate, since he didn't have to work until much later.

I was diligently working on travel accounting and not doing too much reading and commenting on blogs(!) when I got another call from him. He seldom calls me at work, so twice in one day was noteworthy. "Mom, I got into an accident!" Before I could freak out too much he quickly added, "I'm fine. Everybody is fine. Well, except the car. I'm not sure about the car. Can you get off from work? It's OK if you can't, but can you?"

BZ was not in so I went to the second in command and got permission to leave early. I had parked my car a long way from the office so it seemed like forever before I finally got on the road and over the bridge.

I was coming down the main drag of our new city, where the stores like Target, K-Mart and War-Mart are located. It seemed like so much time had elapsed that I wasn't even sure they would still be there. But then I saw many flashing lights and a car sitting up on some huge landscaping rocks like it was on display. I really wish I had a picture of it, the scene was attracting a crowd and not just because of the flashing lights, but I was distracted at the time and didn't have a camera either, of course. There was a huge tow truck trying to figure out how to get the car off the rocks and down. I was thanking my lucky stars that it was the other car, not his car.

I parked and quickly ran to make sure the boys were OK. They were, which was the most important thing of course. But then I saw his car...that was the zippy little car that I'd owned before the jeep. Instead of trading it in, I'd kept it and given it to my son. It was the first car I bought off the showroom floor. I LOVED that car....

"Yeah, that car's toast" one of my son's friends said cheerfully and my son gave him a "shut up!" look. The accident happened across from a car dealership for the same brand of car. One salesperson came over to talk with us and gave us her card "In case we wanted to buy a new car." Which I thought was pretty funny and supplied the only humor in the whole thing. The wrecker came to take it away. He had to decide where to have them take it, as we don't know auto places in our new city, to have the insurance do an appraisal on it. He made many calls to insurance, to our agent, to claims, etc. I drove one of his friends back over the bridge to his work and then went home. My mother was not pleased to hear about all of this but did offer the use of her car so he could get to work.

So nobody was hurt. The driver of the other car was an 18-year old with a suspended license, no insurance, driving his mother's car and he was speeding. His mother and grandmother came right away and tried to get my son and friends to say that she was driving. My son and friends didn't tell the police about that, but they should have. Son got a citation too, for deviating from the lane, as he was changing lanes when the other car hit. I'm so relieved and thankful that nobody got hurt. But my car, my poor little car-ee as I used to call it. A moment of silence please, for my little car....

It's Friday, TGIF, TGIF! Have a good, quick Friday and a wonderful weekend! I'm riding in a patrol car on Saturday night! The landlord was going to (finally) come and fix my closet on Saturday, but I'm going to need a nap before being up all night with the police.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A couple of things about Session II

Had the second session of the Citizen's Academy last night. It was on narcotics and identify theft, embezzlement and fraud. Wow, even better than the first session! We got to see all sorts of street drugs (in plastic bags) including mushrooms, and the paraphenalia that goes with them all. We also got to learn all about meth labs, which are becoming a real problem here in the north part of the state, but not so much in the more heavily populated southern and south central regions.

The narcotics team are a branch of the Investigation Division and have the title "Investigator" _____(last name), while the other members of the Investigation team are "Detective" _______(last name). The school liaisons are "Officer" _______. There are two sergeants and the Captain, who heads the division. For some reason I found the organizational structure really interesting, too.

The costs of the street drugs (except for meth) are really high, so police believe that trying to get the money to buy drugs is what is causing much of the crime here and elsewhere. There were the obligatory shocking before and after photos of people addicted to meth--which were pretty horrible but we've seen them on TV and in print media.

The narcotics team were all pretty new, less than a year. That is one of the toughest areas to work because they receive calls and have to go out on "visits" any time of the day or night. It's hard on them and on their family. The guys were laughing and joking that they have to live the life of a druggie to be able to catch them. Of course they really do that, posing as undercover or surveillance is the usual method to catch drug sellers and buyers.

The identity theft, embezzlement and fraud portion was great too. Did you know that FAMILY are the top perpetators of identity theft? This can range from applying for credit cards under someone else's name to utility theft: applying for service under a different name (usually because they can't get the service under their own name anymore from slow payment or outstanding bills). Then, when the person falls behind again, which usually happens, the person whose name they "borrowed" has a huge black mark against their credit rating if not actual unpaid bills. I immediently thought of SLA, whose new phone is in her old boyfriend's name and they've been broken up for two years. Does he know she's using his name? This class is making me overly suspicious! But I'll "mention" it to her, that it's a CRIME of identity theft to do that, if that's what she's doing.

Well, my Mom is up and POS--we learned about internet fraud and child enticement too. It feels like Friday today but is not, yet. Have a good Thursday!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Silent Night

Well, all is peaceful in the Sandwich house. The other two-thirds are pretending nothing happened. I'm not sure I like this as I like to talk things out. But maybe this isn't easily talkable, could start up something again. And here I was looking forward to getting my freedom, ha ha! I had a list of one-bedroom apartments and was looking at it longingly--ALONE time!!!!

I talked to Vegetable Man about the situation but should have known that his take on it would be the same as always. Punish my son, take away something he likes. That may be a valid point but it's always the first place V.Man will go. Needless to say he and my son did not get along well. In fact their poor relationship had much to do with why we (V.Man and I) parted ways when my son was around 12-years old. V. Man has not got along with any of his other girlfriends' children either, especially the boys. In the relationship before the Ex Vegetable Man wanted to send her 15-year old to a military school "to toughen him up". He was a skinny artistic teenager who would not have thrived in an environment like that. Thank goodness his mother had more sense.

Vegetable Man has Saturn in the 5th house in his natal chart, and if you know any astrological theory, that's not a good placement for getting along with children! He also has his Moon in the 10th house, a mother complex. My son has that also. The ironic thing is that V.Man moved back into town after a broken relationship and lived with his mother for years and years. He would scream and rage and blame his mother for just about everything yet he's very condemning of a milder form of that behavior in my son. Well, it IS condemnable for sure, no denying it, but strange coming from the V. Man! I guess I'm not making him sound very attractive, am I? Or my son either. I've just had far too much family togetherness!

On a lighter note, the ferrets love their new ball! Every morning I take them into the bathroom while I'm showering and getting ready. They still like best to play with their blanket, which is a "dog towel" I use to dry them off from their swim in the bathtub. They play with the towel like little kids too, hiding underneath, peeking out, and a ferret exclusive, rolling around in and on the towel! Duggie is doing fine. He's still a bit light but gaining weight.

It's already been a busy week at work and only Wednesday! This morning I get to escape for awhile and go to a class. Have a good one!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Personal religion

Some bar jokes from my E-mail:

Sure Thing Bar Bet
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

The Beer Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. The bitter and the lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

Now that last joke could be offensive to some people, sorry if it was to YOU. But I think it's hilarious! A question for today:

If you could invent your own religion, what would it be like?
1. How would you worship your god(dess)(es)
2. What sort of religious ceremonies and rituals would you have
3. What would be the holy days of your religion
4. What would the general philosophy of life be (example: do good in this life to be rewarded in heaven is a religious philosophy)

Or maybe that's too much thinking for a Tuesday! But it's really quite quick and easy:
1. By sitting on the couch and watching TV
2. Making a bowl of popcorn, getting a cola from the refrigerator
3. Monday night
4. There's always another channel in life.

OK, I don't really worship TV, it's just another example, just another example, really! Honest. Absolutely. Have a great Tuesday!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Comprehensive botching

I'm suffering from a hangover of sorts, and it's not the alcohol kind. Last night, in fact yesterday in general was not a fun day. Have you ever felt that you've really botched up your life good? That every time a fork in the road appeared you took left when right would have been better?

It wasn't that I was making poor decisions yesterday, but that the results of prior decisions were coming home to roost! In which areas? Well, just about EVERY area of life from work on down, to relationships, family, pretty much everything. It's a very comprehensive botching!

I went to see Vegetable Man at work yesterday. His best friend and the woman who gave us the washer and dryer were there too. Thank goodness he'd called and given me advance warning on the woman, because she is his most recent ex-girlfriend! It still was quite awkward and I could see that his best friend (an alpha-male type) was curious and envious to see V. Man with two women! V.Man was busy, because he was at work, of course, and did give me a kiss and a hug as a greeting. But Ex was firmly planted in his desk chair, queen of all she surveyed. And I could also see that she was surprised to see me, and maybe at the greeting too. What the heck? I know he was (is?) in love with her, is he trying to get her back by making her jealous? It might work. She was very competitive, flipping her hair around, trying to say the clever thing. I joked around with them for a bit and left, very confused. I haven't seen Vegetable Man since we moved, a long time now. Was he seeing her during that time?

Came back home and a policeman followed me up the stairs asking our address. Well, I think I've mentioned all the trouble we've had with our address, how the Post Office keeps crossing in out on our letters and on the mailbox. So when the cop asked if I live at _____, it was the same address that the Post Office keeps writing in!

Turns out the police weren't looking for us, but for someone else, whew! But my Mom was all upset about it, and that was only the beginning....

Then I spent from 5:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. trying to get the washer and dryer to work. (Was this the Ex's revenge on me?!) Early this week everyone, and by this I mean my Mom and my son were whining about not having clean clothes. So I had a pile of dirty clothes, most not mine (I hand wash a lot of my things) and the two little machines refused to work well. I would have loved to drop both the washer and dryer over the balcony from the second floor. But then I would have had to drag all that stuff to the laundromat and back up the stairs. It might have been easier. My Mom accompanies me to the laundromat but can't carry anything, of course. In fact she needs help walking so I used to wish that she wouldn't come with me! It turns out to be such a big production. Well doing the laundry at home turned out to be, too.

Ok, on to the last bad result and the worst: My son came home from work in a really bad mood. This is the third time in as many days. I don't know what's going on with him but his behavior was inexcusable. He was rude to his Grandma. I hang my head in shame. Yes, I know that adult children can and will do whatever they want, but (in my Mom's and family's eyes) it reflected badly on me. And the worst is that she and he used to have such a good relationship, I feel horrible about that. My Mom is not the forgiving kind. She will recite something someone said twenty years ago and hold it against them. So he has ruined his relationship with her, she will never look at or think of him in the same way again. Pretty harsh, but that's how she, and the rest of my family are.

It all started with a huge argument about not having food in the house. We have tons of food, leftovers, etc. but my son couldn't find anything that he wanted to eat and from there the argument escalated. My Mom got involved and the whole thing got nasty, my son felt we were ganging up on him. This is the third time this has happened, but the first that my Mom got involved. Usually she's long in bed by the time he gets home (and she's almost deaf, so didn't hear us before, apparently). She said that she could not live with us and would find a senior's place to live.

My Mom isn't one to just give threats, she means what she says. So it looks like we will all be moving soon again. I'm very tired of the situation too, even though it's been only a couple of days. I know he doesn't make a lot of money but my son really needs to find another place to live, I'm tired of this. And I'm heartsick over it too.

This extended family living was a BAD idea! And practically speaking, it hasn't saved me money--I've been spending much more on groceries. It certainly hasn't saved me time or work--I've had to cook, clean and keep house for three people. I wish my son was still in my Mom's good graces, but maybe a change would be good for all of us...

Friday, March 24, 2006

It all comes down (again)

It's a double-good day! It's Friday and I found my black dress pants! They were hung in the living room closet with the coats. I still have some things there, too, because of my closet falling down when I first moved into the apartment. In fact I still have clothes in three different places yet. But had LOOKED in all of them for those sneaky black pants. Last night I was looking through the living room closet hanger by hanger to find a casual top for today, casual Friday. While moving each hanger on the rod I discovered the black pants! Yay! I'm not wearing them today though, as, like already mentioned it's casual Friday and we get to wear jeans to work. Wonder if I still can do that when sitting out in front on display? Probably not.

There is a downside to finding my pants. I moved them from the living room closet to my bedroom closet, to rejoin their fellow pants and --- THE CLOSET FELL DOWN AGAIN! Aagghh!

The reason I still have clothes in three places was to spread them out so they wouldn't take out the flimsy bar thingy in my bedroom closet. Looks like that didn't work so well.

Tomorrow is the History Day competition, where I'll be a judge (for the fifth year) of the Junior Exhibits. This year we got a terse E-mail note to dress appropriately for the judging. There was no "please" or "thank you" in the note either. While I don't expect the people who set up the competition to fawn over us, a little respect and politeness would go a long ways. It's run by college students, this past two years instead of the Historical Society, who used to put it on. I've mentioned the note to a couple of friends and family and they thought that maybe it's a generational difference, a more matter-of-fact method of communication, but I don't think so. The E-mail seemed rather curt and borderline RUDE to me! And the college students who set it up last year were polite.

Maybe it's just that I don't WANT to dress up on a Saturday morning! We have to be in the judging room at 8:00 a.m., and while that would be late for a weekday, I relish my longer sleep time on Saturday. I'm going to miss just being able to throw on some clean clothes for the day, and wearing jeans! No jeans are allowed. There is a dress code for the competitors but we judges have not had to follow one before. But I think the main thing that bothers me about that E-mail is the phrasing, "You need to...be in the judging room by 8:00" "You need to park..." over and over. Call me hair-splitting on this, but I DON'T need to! I don't need to come to History Day, I'm a volunteer!

Oh well, it will be fun. I always enjoy seeing the creative exhibits and getting to interview the students. I much prefer the junior high to the senior high, so I hope they have assigned me the group I requested. Enjoy your Friday!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A hotbed of crime

I went to the first session of the Citizen's Police Academy last night. It lasted from 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. and I didn't even get tired or sleepy. Wow, this is going to be really really interesting. It was all ready, and last night was just the introductory session. It was an overview of the Police Department, organizational structure, budget and the emergency dispatcher system.

Remember back a few weeks when I took that test for one of the two open positions with the emergency dispatcher system -- and I missed the required cut-off number of points scored by two points? Now, I'm thinking, that may have not been a great job for me. We toured the Police Station and the emergency dispatcher system. The emergency dispatcher system is in the basement of the Police Station, in lock-down. It is like a cement bunker, low ceilings, stale air, dim lights. Two operators were there and they were really busy taking continuous calls. They work long shifts (which like nurse's long shifts, I don't understand. These people need to stay so alert and are dealing with people's lives. Why don't they just work a regular eight-hour shift or even shorter ones?) One operator was working a 12-hour shift and the other a 16-hour shift. Yikes! I rather enjoyed working the two FT jobs but wouldn't have liked (or been able to) work them back to back! And standing in the "bunker" for only a few minutes, with the stale air and dim lights was making my clausophobia kick in. It would have been a BIG adjustment to work there.

The manager of the emergency dispatcher system wore what looked like almost a costume, white and black shoes, black tuxedo-looking jacket, white formal shirt and tie. He was very interesting, soft spoken and funny. In fact one of the most noteworthy things about every one of the police presenters last night was their great sense of humor!

We found out that our new city has a very high crime rate, much higher than the city in which I work, across the state line. In fact, our new hometown consistently scores in the top ten crime cities in the state and has scored as high as fifth in the state despite being under 30,000 in population (crime figures are a percentage of the population). The reasons for the high crime rate are: economic, alcohol abuse, gambling problems, it's a port city, it's a border city.

Last night's session was so interesting that it would have been enough, but we also scored a police coffee mug (the travel kind, with the top. I needed a travel mug!) and a really nice pen. They also gave us the rules for the patrol car ride-along. We get to spent a night shift, 10:00 pm to 4:00 am on a Saturday night observing what a patrol officer does on his/her duty shift! This is all so so cool and I'm glad that my friend UHI told me about it (she was in last year's bunch)I need to call and thank her! Have a happy Thursday!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I lose my pants

I woke up horrible early again. Rather, was awakened by son poking his nose in the door and telling me what time he needs to get up. I barely slept after that, and that was before 3:00 a.m. Also didn't go to bed as early as I had planned, it was after 11:00 p.m. so probably got, like four hours of sleep, max. I had bought son an radio alarm for his birthday because I thought he'd like to wake up to music but he prefers my travel alarm. While lying in bed wishing for sleep I realized there's an easy solution to this, just get another damn alarm clock for him!

While lying awake I was listening to the trains. We have a railroad yard only a couple of blocks from here and I love the sound of the trains, especially at night. Trains have fallen out of fashion in the past years so the railroad isn't really busy, but busy enough to hear trains a few times in the night. I love the music of a train whistle in the wind. It sounds like a harmonica.

I also lay awake wondering what has happened to my (fairly) new black dress pants. Monday I was planning to wear them and couldn't find them in the closet. I'd just washed them a week earlier, did I lose them at the laundomat? Did they fall out of the basket while carrying them? Are they still in the (messy) back seat of the jeep? At first I thought I'd accidently given them (with other clean laundry) to my Mom or son, but no, neither had my black pants. My wardrobe is handicapped now, without those black pants. I've given away most of my "extra" clothes to Goodwill in many bags and boxes. Actually, I gave away a box to Goodwill very recently one morning before work. Do you suppose I accidently gave my almost new black pants to Goodwill? Augggghh, I hope not but have yet to find them anywhere. And you thought maybe the title "I lose my pants" was going to be racy, sorry!

Speaking of that, I talked to Vegetable Man on the phone yesterday. I haven't seen him since our twin moves (ours, and Mom's) and haven't um, visited him for much longer than that. We both are frantically ordering books from the Loompanics Web site, as they are going out of business and have quite the sale going on there 75% off all of the remaining books!!! But I should tell you, if you haven't heard of them before, they don't sell regular books, but odd and unusual books that are difficult to find elsewhere. For instance: one of my two orders of books has a book "Surviving on the Streets: How to Go Down Without Going Out" which has been fascinating reading. My Mom saw it while poking her nose in my door (gee, that causes trouble for me, doesn't it?) and was somewhat concerned, ha ha! I've forgotten how to do the link thingy hope this works: http://www.loompanics.com/ Loompanics

I really HATE other people commenting on what I'm reading, feel it's an invasion of privacy. People have done so since I was a child carrying my non-fiction books about famous women, "Oh you want to grow up to be an Indian princess, huh?" snicker snicker, and comments like that. So I've learned to conceal my non-fiction so as not to provoke lame comments from strangers. I suppose they're just trying to make conversation but I don't like it and they can just buzz off!

So on that happy note, have a Wonderful Wednesday!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Hungry at midnight

Ugh, I'm very tired today, not enough sleep. I can't seem to decide what to wear to work today and it's a simple enough decision. My brain is just in a fog. When Her Majesty The Peanut Queen posted about adding another job, I forgot to put the biggest downside of working two (full time) jobs; weight gain.

I just read a study that said that not getting enough sleep inhibits the body's production of a hunger surpressant. Leptin, or something like that, which signals the body that it's full and satisfied. Maybe it doesn't have that bad effect for everyone, but in the two years that I got only four hours of sleep per night, I gained quite a bit of weight. Weight that I'm still struggling to take off a few YEARS later! Weight gain would be perceived as a downside for most people! Part of the problem was that in a 24-hour day, I was also eating an extra meal. Being awake for the equivalent of two days meant that I would get hungry around midnight or 1:00 a.m. while working the night job.

Other than that working the two jobs was fun and a challenge, I enjoyed them both. But I would never do it again because of the physical toll. It aged me physically too in that short amount of time. Not recommended. It did seem like I had twice as much life during those two years, though! Two days (and I LIKED both jobs and had friends at both) in a 24-hour period! Too bad we need to sleep so much. But I need to sleep more right now!

I'm reading an interesting book, "Tropic of Night" by Michael Gruber. It's a (fiction) murder mystery that includes witchcraft, magic, Santeria and shamanism. I'm a little more than half done and this excellent book is to blame for my lack of sleep today! Happy Tuesday!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Master of all he surveys

Well, I survived the weekend, how was yours? Mighty Tom came and left. We even had some moments of family fun! As we grew up together and have quite a bit the same sense of humor.

MT is obviously the lord and master of his family. In fact he's lord and master of all he surveys, including OUR apartment! His sweet little Asian-born wife hustles to get him whatever he wants, the instant he wants it. They are physically affectionate in public too, which would be cute and endearing if she didn't also call him "Daddy" which totally lands it into the realm of creepy, not sweet!

She asks him rather stupid questions, like when we were watching a movie and they had greyhound racing she asked, "Are those greyhounds, Daddy?" so he had to explain it to her. She's been here since she was a teenager and is very intelligent, holds an impressive job. She IS a really sweet person although she barely says a word except to MT and has an accent so it usually takes me a few hours before I can really understand her well again. My Mom thinks she's the (second) most wonderful person ever and while she may be right about that, I get really tired of hearing about it!

The movie(s) we were watching were of the Ballykissangel series. Have you ever watched it/them? Very appropriate for St Patrick's Day!

Well, today is a Monday once again. Hope yours turns out to be a good day for you!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday, but a crabby day

Today is the day of the visit of the Mighty Tom. MT is my younger brother, the one who bought the house from Mom. I'm not really looking forward to his visit but am sort of trapped, since I live here (with Mom) and have nowhere else to go.

MT, like many youngest children, has been the pampered, spoiled and celebrated child in the family. My Mom has tunnel vision when he's around and after he leaves it's Tom Tom Tom. She used to interrupt my conversation about my son to mention (again) a noteworthy thing about Tom's kids (who are the most wonderful children there could ever be). Just recently Mom was complaining about my son (who also lives with us) and then began talking about MT's boys, "Now those are kids I can be proud of." Ouch, Mom! I defended him of course, as he is a good boy and does a lot of things for me and his grandmother.

SLA and Vegetable Man have both noticed for years about how much she continually talks about Mighty Tom, about all the wonderful accomplishments of their family, how sweet and helpful his wife is, the same things over and over. It's sickening, but better if we (older brother and I) just plain agree with her.

The realy ironic thing is that Mom had a younger brother in her (large) family who supplanted her as the youngest child. For all of my childhood and beyond I can remember her talking bitterly and jealously about him. She had little good to say about him until he died about two years ago. Now he's a saint in her eyes. My older brother and I feel the same way about Tom as she felt about her younger brother. I've tried to compare the two (like) situations to her but she doesn't see it.

It's almost needless to say that I don't get along that well with MT. Older brother avoids him when possible. Normally when MT come to visit, I would go out to Mom's and see him for a couple of hours--which was about as much as I could bear without getting into an argument with him over politics, child raising, a news story--you name it. Now I'm trapped for a weekend-long visit, yikes!

As long as I'm ranting about annoying people: Last night we had a knock on the door. It was the upstairs neighbor whom I've never even met. Her first words to me after telling me who she was were a smirking, "Are you missing something?" I just sort of stared at her blankly, while thinking about the stuff we put in the little storage place in the back hallway.

"Not that I know of." I said, finally. She still has an unpleasant smirk on her face when my little dog came up to her.

"Oh, there's the little dog who barks all the time." she says. While my Mom and I just stare at her. My dog barks a couple of woofs when someone comes, and then is quiet. She's the quietest dog I've ever owned or seen (heard!). She doesn't bark at the contantly barking (many) dogs in the neighborhood area, doesn't bark at the loud thumping and bumping on the ceilings. My Mom and I had never met this neighbor, but already we were not liking her one bit.

The neighbor woman then asks, "So you aren't missing any of your animals, like your ferrets or anything? I was packing up my boyfriend's things--I should say my EX-boyfriend and I heard something in the walls. It sounded large, bigger than a mouse."

And I am wondering how she knows we have ferrets, she's never been in our apartment and we've never talked to her before. And I'm getting quite annoyed. Did the landlady tell her about our ferrets (they are supposed to be locked in their cage at all times) so she could check up on us or something?

"No," I say quite coldly, "Our animals are never running about loose."

And so ended our first conversation with our upstairs neighbor. To be honest, I was inclined to not like her much anyway. She's so noisy that it wakes me up sometimes. Maybe now that the boyfriend, no EX-boyfriend is gone, things will be more quiet. But I doubt it. This morning it sounds like he's still up there.

Gee, I feel crabby today. Having to deal with MT does that for me! Hope you have a quick Friday and a great weekend! I'm not really looking forward much to mine....

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Columbo Syndrome

Haven't devoted much time to blogging lately, but hope to catch up, maybe this weekend. Other things keep getting in the way. Last night my son and I brought our cars in for an oil change, the night before that I got groceries. My Mom usually gets up in the morning to see me off to work. That's been a change for me. So much of a change that I've barely made it to work on time and was ten minutes late one morning! Yesterday I was almost half an hour early (like I normally am) so maybe I've made the adjustment? Do you have as much trouble actually getting out the door as I do?

I call it the "Columbo Syndrome" after that old TV show. You know, where he's interviewing the suspected perpetrator, walks away, then returns and says, "Just one more thing..." and asks the most hard-hitting question. It's not that I'm interviewing anyone or even talking but that I notice ONE MORE THING to do before leaving the house. Yesterday it was the dirty dishes, so I washed them but still arrived early to work. Sometimes it can be straightening up a particular area, or finding a book, or a bill or ...most anything. But I just have to do/find it before leaving the house. I was once told that it's a form of OCD, as I actually was diagnosed with a mild case of it a long time ago.

But in mentioning the problem to other people, I've found out that quite a few people do the same thing and haven't been diagnosed with OCD or anything else. So I think it may be just sort of normal. Weird normal (if there is such a thing!) but normal.

Do you have to do just ONE MORE THING: do you have any quirky or normal stuff that you just have to do before leaving the house for the day?

Monday, March 13, 2006

I come clean

It was a great weekend! Hope yours was too. One of the highlights was….

Dum dum dum, da da dum….

A “new” apartment sized washer and dryer! Courtesy of Vegetable Man’s ex-girlfriend. Is she trying to make me feel guilty, or what? I don’t care, it was a very nice thing to do! She did the plumbing for the washer, too. My Mom and I had gone to the laundromat in the morning after she came home from church. I lugged down two heavy laundry baskets, and lugged them back upstairs when done, too. Having an in-house washer and dryer will be totally wonderful!

From my E-Mail
All About The Sea
A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)

7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)


A Happy Monday to ya, the start of the week and all that.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Tagged by Aims

I was tagged by Aims to do the seven fave song meme. Thought I wouldn't have time before work but it was very easy to think of seven songs I adore! I forgot how to do the link thing though, sorry Aims!

Fave Seven Songs

Call Me, by Blondie. This song reminds me of a past time, not of any particular memory, but of a feeling. It’s also a great turn-up-full-volume-and-sing-around road trip song, like many of my favorites. I like a lot of Blondie songs.

Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana. Hard to pick a favorite of theirs, I like many.

Bananafishbones, Cure, hard to pick a favorite of theirs, too. The Top CD is my favorite and I like most of the songs on it. But I love love love this crazy song and can play it three times in a row (to everyone else’s annoyance). The weird lyrics are great, too.

With or Without You, U2

Tell It To My Heart, Taylor Dane

My Sharona, The Knack. Great party music.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, the Stones. I like a lot of theirs.

Cocaine, Eric Clapton

This Corrosion, Vision Thing, Sisters of Mercy. I like most of their songs.

Bring Me To Life, Tourniquet, Evanescence. Oooh, I like so many of theirs!

Well, that was more than seven songs, ooops. Anyone else who wants can play, but I think many of you have already done this one.

It's FRIDAY! Have a good one!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Police Academy: Citizens on Patrol

Not only do I have the jewelry making class and Women’s Expo to look forward to, but now the Citizens’ Police Academy too!

My good friend UHI, who lives in my old state and works in this new one told me about the CPA last summer and it sounded so fun. They only have it once a year and only 25 people can get into it each time. So, a while back I applied and have now received a letter that I’m in! We get to ride around in a patrol car and go on the police rifle range to shoot various police weapons. Yippee that will be fun! I wish we could do evade and pursuit driving too, but doubt THAT would be on the agenda.

Oh, I’m sure there will be some more boring stuff like videos and speakers and such but we will learn about “justification for use of force and specifically the use of deadly force.” We will also learn about documenting the conditions of a crime scene—the evidence technology session. The class syllabus says “we will demonstrate the traffic stop and the felony car stop. Students will be asked to participate.” One session is on the juvnile justice system and there will be a demonstration of the K-9 Unit. The first session is on March 22 and I can hardly wait!

Have you ever attended a Citizens’ Police Academy? Would you if you could?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Everything changes

Ahh, much better today. If an ordinary person could have a motto, mine would be: everything changes; attitudes most of all. Thank for the good tips (I will use them!) and support. This is an unfamiliar situation to me, and to my Mom, too. Anyway, I came home from work to tuna hotdish, casserole to some folks. I had a salad already made in the refrigerator and that was dinner!

I had laid out all the makings to the hotdish in the morning before going to work. And had told my Mom that I never would be getting married again--because I'd have to cook. She was rather apalled and said something like, "Surely love would conquer all?" and I just shook my head and replied, "Not cooking, Mom. I NEVER want to be stuck in a situation where I'm forced to cook all the time." And at least this time, it worked! The last and only other time I had laid out a meal for her to make, she "just couldn't get around to it." But that was without my bad mood and melodrama!

As I said yesterday, I did not expect her to do all the cooking or even most of all, just to lend a hand sometimes at it and other household chores. The sink was piled high with unsoaked cooking pans and someone got mud all over our pale beige carpet but at least I didn't have to cook. Yay! That doesn't mean the problem is suddenly solved, as cooking and chores are a day-in and day-out situation. Only that I feel better--more positive and hopeful that it's going to work out better--today.

I have a four-hour jewelry making class on Saturday. Normally the Scone Club would be meeting but people's schedules have changed and it's been hard to get everyone to come. Also the Women's Expo with fun, free samples and entertainment is Saturday too. I greedily want to go to both, although the class would take precident because I've already paid for it. Happy Hump Day!


Jokes from my E-mail
Animal Sounds
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Mother: "What does the cow say?"

Child: "Moo!"

Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

Child: "Meow."

Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."

Borrowing the car
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Don't read this..a bad daughter post

Thought I told you not to read this! Unless of course you LIKE to read long, whiny, I-feel-sorry-for-me posts. If you don't, I suggest you stop reading...right now! I probably shouldn't write this type of stuff at all, except this blog is like my journal to me and I spill my guts in my journal! It's therapeutic and I usually feel better after doing so.

Well, the honeymoon is over for having my Mom live with us. Bet you knew (if you're still reading) that was coming up sooner or later. It's been only two-and-a-half weeks. Yes, I know she's older and retired, but she doesn't do a single thing around the house while I'm gone working all day. No cleaning, no cooking, no dishes, picking up, vacuuming, nothing at all except complaining about my little dog. It's all left for me when I come home, tired from work. It's not like I expected her to do all of that stuff and be our drudge or anything, but once in awhile, I was hoping she'd do a few things and lighten the load for me. And my son has followed suit on housework. He does do lots of carrying up and down the stairs, taking out the garbage, shoveling and chores like that, though, so it isn't like he's not doing anything, though.

I thought I'd made it very clear that while we would be living together, I wasn't planning on taking care of her! She acts like she's my guest, not a fellow roommate. But she says (and yes, she has a point) that she's worked all of her life and deserves a rest. I'd agree with that except large sit-down meals cooking and housework for three people is a lot different than the quick little each-do-their-own-thing cooking that I'm used to doing! I didn't sign up to run a bed and breakfast, even for my mother! I HATE domestic chores. Whine whine whine. Having her for company is still great, though. I like that. But it's a high price to pay for the rest of it.

I feel like such a bad friend (car situation with SLA and Houseguest) and a bad daughter (whining about my dear Mom) too. Not a good day, hope it will get a whole lot better.

My son is going to court today, too. He was pulled over for expired tabs and couldn't find his insurance. It should go OK for him, though he's never even had a parking ticket before.


Hope your Tuesday is a lot better! Or at least you have a better attitude about it!

Monday, March 06, 2006

She Said

From my E-mail. March is National Women’s History Month. Most famous quotes are from men, here are a bunch from women!

“I wanted a perfect ending… Now, I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”
-Gilda Radner

“All value resides in individuals. Value is distributed in individual space, Relationship economics is the framework for wealth creation. Deep support is the new metaproduct.” -Shoshanna Zuboff

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”-Zora Neale Hurston

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
-Maya Angelou

“All sins are attempts to fill voids.” -Simone Weil

“Never place a period where God has placed a comma.” -Gracie Allen

“We only keep what we lose.” -May Sarton

“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Language is magic: it makes things appear and disappear.” -Nicole Brossard

“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.” -Emily Dickinson

“For fast-acting relief try slowing down.” -Lily Tomlin

“If you haven’t forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?”- Dolores Huerta

“Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread - but we’ve got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“Love often leads to healing, while fear and isolation breed illness. And our biggest fear is abandonment.” -Candace Pert

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” -Mother Theresa

“Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”-Lily Tomlin

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” -Lily Tomlin

“Absence becomes the greatest Presence.” -May Sarton

“A true leader is not one you look up to because they are the best. A true leader is one that draws the best out in you.” -Anne Warfield

“The minute one utters a certainty, the opposite comes to mind.” -May Sarton

“When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember, in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes the rose.” -Amanda McBroom

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin

“Bloom where you are planted.” -Nancy Reader

“Only when the clamor of the outside world is silenced will you be able to hear the deeper vibration.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“It is only through disruptions and confusion that we grow, jarred out of ourselves by the collision of someone else’s private world with our own.” -Joyce Carol Oates

“Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“There is a reason why everything happens and everything happens for a reason. It is not up to us to ask why…just have a good attitude and think pleasant thoughts. Attitude is what it’s all about.” -Amy Krouse Rosenthal

“It’s easy to be independent when you’ve got money, but to be independent when you haven’t got a thing - that’s the Lord’s test.” -Mahalia Jackson

“Love is a great beautifier.” -Louisa May Alcott

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” -Katherine Hepburn

“A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.” --Nancy Reagan

“I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.” -Sara Teasdale

“I like not only to be loved but to be told that I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave.” -George Eliot

“We are all pencils in the hand of God writing love letters to the world.” -Mother Theresa

“The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” ----Emily Dickensen

“. . .everything you believe depends on how afraid you are of life, and how well you want to know the soul of life, because life itself has its own soul.” -Caroline Myss

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.” -Ivy Baker Priest

“Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.” -Sarah Bernhardt

“The richest man in the world is not the one who still has his first dollar he ever earned. It’s the man who still has his best friend.” -Marsha Mason

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” -Erica Jong

“We are living art, created to hang on, stand up, forbear, continue and encourage others.”- Maya Angelou

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” -Mother Theresa

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

“If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton

“Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.” -Golda Meir

(What she asks of herself when she sits down to write. . .)”. . .to carve something highly important into a small enough amulet to fit inside a reader’s most sacred psychic pocket.” -Barbara Kingsolver

“You can write me down in history with hateful, twisted lies, you can trod me in this very dirt, but still, like dust, I’ll rise.” -Maya Angelou

“Rest and you rust.” -Helen Hayes


and my very favorite (but it was hard to pick just one) of all of these great quotes from women:

I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art. -Carrie Fisher

Which quote is YOUR favorite?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

A dilemna: am I being used?

Well, I had a good Saturday even though the Scone Club has not been able to meet for the last couple of weeks, very disappointing.

The day started out not-as-good however, with my Mom taking off alone so early and then SLA called me. First she invited me over to see her grandson, whom I've not ever seen yet and he's around seven months old or so. She's not invited me or barely spoken to me since I moved in next door to her, a disappointment to me.

Shortly after the first call, SLA called me again with an emergency this time. Her former Houseguest's ex had come into town and taken back the car. Houseguest was extremely distraught, needed someone to talk to right this very minute, so I was to go and bring her to SLA's house. Which I did, including her large muddy dog who got my good coat and the jeep all dirty.

SLA and Houseguest were both using that car to get to work, run errands, etc. The thing is, the car wasn't in her name, she was just using it (and letting SLA use it) with no insurance or title. That kind of thing makes me nervous. I was drawn into the situation because they were hoping to be able to "share" my jeep.

I'd like to be a friend about this, but don't feel good about it at all. For one thing, my suspicions are aroused that the car was taken earlier than Saturday morning--like Thursday night before SLA called up my Mom to borrow Mom's car. And I don't like being conned or lied to, even by a friend. Also, maybe this is petty of me but my feelings are a bit hurt that she hadn't wanted to get together with me until now, when she needs something from me. I feel used.

Also, they both have a way-too-casual attitude about cars, could let her druggy son drive my jeep or otherwise pass it around to other friends! I don't like this and offered to give her/them rides when possible but NOT loan out the jeep. I'm not going to change my mind about this but am curious as to what you think about this situation?

E-mails jokes about/from my new state!

GOOD

A Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As a Wisconsin State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said cheerily, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball!" He replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left, proving the point.

My Mom arrived home safely but exhausted. Son carried up the things she'd gotten from her old house. Yes, I should have gone out there with her. Have a great rest of your weekend!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Blindingly beautiful

Yes, the blinds are up! And they are gorgeous, I think so, anyway. They have a minimalistic high-tech look because they're so fitted into the windows. The blinds had to be installed that way because the windows are so long, like church windows. The effect in my Mom's room is stunning, those huge bay windows with blinds together with her wood furniture, the wood floor and high ceiling. The other rooms are really really nice, too. It turned out better than I had even hoped. I had already liked how this apartment looked, now it looks even better!

My Mom just left in her car to go to her old house to pick up some things. I should have gone with her. But she left before 8:00 a.m. and I had gotten to bed after 3:30 a.m.! Still, I WAS awake (sort of) and should have hurried to get dressed. Now I'll be worried about her all day. The driving is good, today at least.

SLA called her yesterday while the blind lady was there to borrow her car. Now, we all had talked separately about an arrangement where SLA would take my Mom grocery shopping or for errands in return for the use of Mom's car. But this was jumping the gun a bit. My Mom hasn't even seen SLA for several years and (said) that she would not recognize her on the street. My son took the call and it sounds from their reports that he and my Mom were less than cordial to SLA--more like indignant.

So now my Mom and son are irritated with SLA and think she was being far too gutsy to ask for a favor like that. I actually privately agree on that...it takes a bit of finess to broach a subject like that with my Mom even though she had agreed (to me) that it would be a fine arrangement. I think SLA blew it.

We were all supposed to get together in the next couple of days. Probably NOT such a great idea right now. I wish SLA would have waited rather than just called Mom up and asked to use her car!

Well, a happy happy Saturday to you!

Friday, March 03, 2006

The blinding will be today

It's Friday! Yay, it's FRIDAY! The blinds lady couldn't come in the afternoon yesterday, so called and said she would come later. It got to be 8:30 p.m. before she finally arrived and it's a several hour job! I was a bit worried because sometimes I do stay up later, but by this far along in the week I'm usually getting to bed pretty early. My Mom and I both get up really early. But after messing around quite a bit and me thinking, "Is it going to take this long for EACH window? We're going to be doing this all night!" the blinds lady found that she was missing a piece. I fully think she was planning to go to go to a store that was open late and return to still do the several-hours-long job. But our pointed yawns at that point dissuaded her. Thankfully she will return this afternoon. And better still, if it works out this time--I'll be at work! She's giving us quite the bargain, doing the job for little more over the cost of the materials. I really don't know why, just because she's nice, I guess.

Some jokes from my E-mail:

Little Johnny's Most Wanted
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures of the ten most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny then asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

Vampires at the Bar
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."

The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"

Dogs Just Don't Understand
1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. They shouldn't jump on your bed when sopping wet.

4. The cats (ferrets, chinchilla) have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it's my food....Oh alright then, just a small piece.

Some things dogs DO understand!

Not a Bullet Train
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"


Have a great Friday!!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

What I’m doing

Well, it’s been two weeks of extended family living and it’s been great! Except for isolated incidences (see previous post!) things have gone very well. I really enjoy coming home to a family that loves me, having interested and interesting people to talk to, and sharing responsibilities, meals and space.

Last night the Vegetable Man’s former girlfriend came to measure our windows for blinds. She runs a business of fixing things, and once came to my old house to weatherproof the door. That was back when they were still living together and he and I were still just friends. I thought last night might be awkward, because she knows, of course, that I’m seeing him now, but it wasn’t. We all shared some laughs (not about that!) and it was friendly and comfortable.

My mother did comment after she left, “I just can’t see her and Vegetable Man together.” Ha! Am I bad to be pleased? My mother doesn’t know that I’m (sort of) seeing him. My son doesn’t know that directly either, but may have figured it out. And my friends don’t know. V-Man and I had been friends for so many years that people just assume our relationship is still like that. It’s not that I’m trying to hide it, in fact have said some things to my friends that should be alerted them, but didn’t. Either that, or they are pretending they don’t know. Perhaps my son is doing that too. Whew, too complicated. It’s an odd relationship and hard to explain to friends and loved ones, who are very apt to say, “What are you doing?” Good question.

So, have YOU ever gotten back together with an old love: been remarried, moved back in together, or started dating again? And how did friends and loved ones react?