Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Don't read this..a bad daughter post

Thought I told you not to read this! Unless of course you LIKE to read long, whiny, I-feel-sorry-for-me posts. If you don't, I suggest you stop reading...right now! I probably shouldn't write this type of stuff at all, except this blog is like my journal to me and I spill my guts in my journal! It's therapeutic and I usually feel better after doing so.

Well, the honeymoon is over for having my Mom live with us. Bet you knew (if you're still reading) that was coming up sooner or later. It's been only two-and-a-half weeks. Yes, I know she's older and retired, but she doesn't do a single thing around the house while I'm gone working all day. No cleaning, no cooking, no dishes, picking up, vacuuming, nothing at all except complaining about my little dog. It's all left for me when I come home, tired from work. It's not like I expected her to do all of that stuff and be our drudge or anything, but once in awhile, I was hoping she'd do a few things and lighten the load for me. And my son has followed suit on housework. He does do lots of carrying up and down the stairs, taking out the garbage, shoveling and chores like that, though, so it isn't like he's not doing anything, though.

I thought I'd made it very clear that while we would be living together, I wasn't planning on taking care of her! She acts like she's my guest, not a fellow roommate. But she says (and yes, she has a point) that she's worked all of her life and deserves a rest. I'd agree with that except large sit-down meals cooking and housework for three people is a lot different than the quick little each-do-their-own-thing cooking that I'm used to doing! I didn't sign up to run a bed and breakfast, even for my mother! I HATE domestic chores. Whine whine whine. Having her for company is still great, though. I like that. But it's a high price to pay for the rest of it.

I feel like such a bad friend (car situation with SLA and Houseguest) and a bad daughter (whining about my dear Mom) too. Not a good day, hope it will get a whole lot better.

My son is going to court today, too. He was pulled over for expired tabs and couldn't find his insurance. It should go OK for him, though he's never even had a parking ticket before.

Hope your Tuesday is a lot better! Or at least you have a better attitude about it!


Blogger Dale said...

It's your car, PBS. And your home. That gives you certain rights. You are neither a bad daughter nor a bad friend.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

I've never agreed with the selfish old person point of view that states "I've already made my effort, so the world owes me respect and a free ride from now on." I say put her in the old folks home unless she wants to earn her keep.

9:10 AM  
Blogger katie said...

I think that you really need to put your foot down and assert yourself. You will only end up getting more angry. Good luck!

10:38 AM  
Blogger angela marie said...

It isn't bad to expect someone to help clean and cook. That is all being part of a family. Unless she is paying you big money for housekeeping and chef duties, I would expect her to help out.


11:07 AM  
Blogger PBS said...

Nope, no money, A.M. We split rent and I've been buying most of the groceries. I didn't expect her to do all of it--not even half, but just help out a little!

12:13 PM  
Blogger Aims said...

Oh poor you, I agree with Katie, put your foot down. You aren't running a B&B it's not fair on you to be doing all the work. Or have a day or 2 when you just refuse to do it! Maybe then they'll get it! Sorry I do have this terrible naughty side!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I echo Dale's comment. I also think you should sit her down and explain you love having her as a room mate, how lucky you are to have her. Then explain it would be a help if she could perhaps do one or two things for you during the day..like pick up...dishes etc. Honestly, these are very quick chores, not strenuous. I don't buy the line that she's worked all her life....that's very very selfish.

6:18 PM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

Sorry for your frustrating Tuesday hope tomorrow is better!

6:24 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

I'm sure she could some small stuff around the house.
What did she do before you moved in together.
I hate house work.
When are they coming out with the self clean houses.
Sign me up

7:23 PM  
Blogger Magicfingers said...

She may have a point but,,,,,She should move and keep busy for her own health. You don't use it , you lose it. Low mobility persons can devolope circulatory problems and even peripheral vascular disease or even pneumonia.

9:41 PM  
Blogger Magicfingers said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:41 PM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

I hope that you find a way to work this out. What would Dr Phil say? Something like "negotiate a plan that you can all be excited about." He also say, "You teach people how to treat you."

11:22 PM  
Blogger Fizzy said...

I agree with everything everyone else has already said. Can you not just ask her to do the odd one or two things whilst you are at work and just get her going, if you know what I mean, thne gradually make them the things that she does?....I don't know something like that.

Look after yourself

12:57 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

i think me and my mother would have killed each other by day two, so two and a half weeks doesn't seem bad...

i'm sure once shes recovered from all the upheaval she will start doing something (fingers crossed)...

maybe you should go out and eat somewhere on your own and come back late so she has to cook herself a couple of times...

you are not a bad daughter or friend...


2:25 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

I live next door to my in-laws which is fine. They've never come over here much. But now that I am taking care of them it has become screwy. The MIL when she misplaces things points the finger at me...and it usually is found in her purse or on the floor around the area that she sits and sleeps in. I cut her lots of slack...but there are days I'd like to thump her on the head and say, "give me a break b***h!"
They are still good in-laws though.

4:08 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

Both my mom and I know that we could never live together. We love each other very much, but we'd be on each others' nerves all the time. You're not a bad daughter, and it's certainly reasonable to expect her to carry some of the load.

3:53 PM  

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