Monday, June 26, 2006

Things to think about

It's the start of a short week for me. But it will probably seem longer than normal. This Friday is the HOUSE CLOSING! It certainly seems like a long time ago that I signed the purchase agreement, but it's only been a bit over a week. So much has happened since then.

My friend Kathy sent me these. Some have been around for awhile and some are new, at least to me:

Here are a few things to think about:

Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
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Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?


That is all for this morning, gotta get to work. Have a good Monday!

7 Comments:

Blogger Dale said...

I hope you'll share some pictures with us of moving day! You must feel like a kid on Christmas Eve!

12:09 PM  
Blogger deni said...

Wow, your closing is this Friday already? That was fast.

Enjoyed the jokes, have a good day!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Friday is not that far away and I bet you're excited to be home. Your home :)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Happy Moving and thanks for making me Laugh today!!!

3:00 PM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

Short weeks are nice!! Those were pretty funny!! I like the in a movie & on tv one ha!

4:20 PM  
Blogger 2HB2 said...

The move is so soon. Are you panicking yet?
Your jokes have given me a headache, tee,hee..

4:37 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Woah, that was quick!! How exciting PBS :o)


I wonder if you can cry underwater? Hmmm i must try it in the pool LOL

6:14 PM  

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