Monday, June 26, 2006

Things to think about

It's the start of a short week for me. But it will probably seem longer than normal. This Friday is the HOUSE CLOSING! It certainly seems like a long time ago that I signed the purchase agreement, but it's only been a bit over a week. So much has happened since then.

My friend Kathy sent me these. Some have been around for awhile and some are new, at least to me:

Here are a few things to think about:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

That is all for this morning, gotta get to work. Have a good Monday!


Blogger Dale said...

I hope you'll share some pictures with us of moving day! You must feel like a kid on Christmas Eve!

12:09 PM  
Blogger deni said...

Wow, your closing is this Friday already? That was fast.

Enjoyed the jokes, have a good day!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Friday is not that far away and I bet you're excited to be home. Your home :)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Happy Moving and thanks for making me Laugh today!!!

3:00 PM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

Short weeks are nice!! Those were pretty funny!! I like the in a movie & on tv one ha!

4:20 PM  
Blogger 2HB2 said...

The move is so soon. Are you panicking yet?
Your jokes have given me a headache, tee,hee..

4:37 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Woah, that was quick!! How exciting PBS :o)

I wonder if you can cry underwater? Hmmm i must try it in the pool LOL

6:14 PM  

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