Monday, June 19, 2006

Fresh Pineapple and a Drive-by

I had a pretty good weekend, hope yours was good, too. I spent Saturday with my Mom. Apparently the King had come up during the week for two days. So I got to hear all about Mighty Tom, over and over. Eight times about how wonderful they were to move some of her furniture and five times about how they cooked two meals for her. O-K. It's bad of me for sure but I am SO glad we are not living together yet!

I did take Mom for a drive-by of my new house. We can't get inside it, of course, until after the closing. She was happy for me and even offered to lend me money if I needed it! That was sweet of her but I wouldn't have signed the offer unless I could afford to buy the house.

Sunday afternoon was spend doing the laundry, a chore which lasted until almost 8:00 p.m. I have to fill the little washer with water from a bucket and cannot leave it unattended. It's amazing how much water goes into even a little washer! And then there's the rinse cycle too. The dryer doesn't stay running either so laundry is a drawn-out, hands-on affair. I will be very glad for the laundry room in the "new" house, with a normal washer and dryer. I'd love to experience the ease of just putting clothes into the washer (or dryer) and walking away to do other things!

Vegetable Man called me yesterday. We had a nice long phone conversation, which we don't often do, because it's long distance. He will be helping us to move but probably not on the 4th of July weekend, which will be right after the closing on the house. I'm gung-ho to move in, of course, and get my hands on/in those overgrown garden beds! I've really missed gardening and puttering around in the soil and working with plants. I'm hoping there's enough of our (short) growing season left to do at least a bit of gardening yet this year.

We also ate fresh pineapple this weekend after waiting for it for days to get ripe enough. Mmmmm, fresh, juicy, ripe pineapple is simply the best! I also made a triple batch of iced vanilla lattes each day. They sure beat hot coffee when the weather was so humid and muggy.

From my E-mail

Boy, or Girl?
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.

On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."

"How did you know that?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Can’t You Read the Sign (oldie, but goodie)
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. Then she noticed a young man smiling at her, and she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing.

She had him arrested for harassing her.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloan's Liniment to remove swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William's Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."

The case was dismissed.

Sound Familiar?
In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.

In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them $0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card, figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been canceled. He called the credit card company, who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.

The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally giving in, he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all.

A week later, the man's bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail.

The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt.

The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

Tonight after work I have an interview with the mortgage banker. I’m a bit nervous about it. But in all the phone conversations we’ve had it sounds like everything will come together well. And it's Monday today, try to have a good one!


Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Mmmmmm...fresh pineapple! I love pineapple!

Actually it sounds like you got quite a bit done this weekend, huh? Good for you!

7:26 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Well i don't have a Mighty Tom, but i do have a Mighty Brad, or He who can do no wrong! Man, i can sympathise with you PBS.
I am so excited for you, to have your own place with a garden will be wonderful and the ferrets will love it!
MMmmmm fresh pineapple, you don't have to convince me!

7:39 AM  
Blogger deni said...

I hope everything goes as smooth for as it did for me.

Well, the moving itself wasn't all that smooth, but the buying part was.

You should be well practiced in the moving department. :)

8:46 AM  
Blogger 2HB2 said...

If it took me that long to wash clothes I think I would quit wearing any.
Great jokes. Perfect for a Monday..

10:06 AM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Hot and muggy there too, eh? It's awfully hard to find a balance.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

Hope all goes well with the new house.

11:21 AM  
Blogger glenda said...

Good luck with the move. Cute jokes.

11:46 AM  
Blogger sumo said...

Got your email...I figured maybe I had too much going on with pictures and various sites that take time to I dumped them. Don't know if it helps. I'll have my son check the template for clues.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

It's obvious you're excited about the house. Hell, we're all excited FOR you! I hope it's as painless as possible.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Lorna said...

It's true: fresh pineapple is the best! Unless you coat it with dark chocolate, and then it's supreme.

4:54 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Oh yes! I love fresh pineapple. The only thing is I can't eat a whole lot of it at once because for some reason it makes me get tongue pimples. EW. They burn!

Glad you're getting the help you need on the weekend of the fourth. Good deal. I was concerned about that for you.

8:20 AM  

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