Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Snooze clues

I tried to load a photo of (the same type as) my old car, but it won't work and my time is running out. I got up kind of late and still got only five hours of sleep at the most. Well, that's probably why I kept pushing "snooze".

It's gotten to be a habit in the past couple of months--well, this year, actually. I had only used the snooze button about twice ever before and now I've used it three times in a morning several times.

I haven't applied for a job in a long while, but found this one recently. I can think of the perfect person for it, too!

Sith Lord Wanted
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.

An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn.

Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.

Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant.

Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.)

Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens. Applications will be accepted until the end of July. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com

ADDED LATER: Carol was right, My name is URL, try here: jobs@darkside.com

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Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management, incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies. Dark Side CG (tm) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.

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Even if you aren't interested in the above position, try the url above. It really works (leads to a web page)!

4 Comments:

Blogger ordinarygirl said...

I couldn't find the link. :(

10:30 AM  
Blogger deni said...

me either. LOL

11:05 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

I think you meant to try the URL, which I did. It took me to google with an entry there inviting me to 'email' darkside.

Hey, I wonder if you are thinking of the same person I am thinking of for this position. haha Let's just say it's someone we both knew and loved and who has recently stopped blogging but who had a rather 'dark' side. :)

11:21 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

Wow. I bet my ex works there. So THAT was what that creepy dark cape was for......

7:41 PM  

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