Not room for one more
Last night I dreamt I was pregnant, such a logical progression from seeing the baby at lunch on Monday! I was very large and could feel the little elbows jutting into me. It was really uncomfortable and I was walking and biking trying to induce labor. But as I was walking I was worried about going to the hospital and all. We were hoping for a baby girl. The father was in a large meeting hall type place that seemed to be where I worked. He and another guy were trying to put together a baby stroller from out of a box. I was walking and my doctor was driving by and stopped and took out his stethoscope. "It's a false pregnancy" he said, "Listen!" And there was no heartbeat. He told me to get into the car and drove me back to work where he announced that I wasn't really pregnant. The father and the other guy were wondering how they would ever get the stroller apart and back into the box to return to the store. I was very disappointed, crushed really, then I woke up. Weird dream.
My real child, who isn't a child anymore, took off late last night to stay with his girlfriend again in a distant city. She may end up coming up here to live but I told him that could be only very temporarily. One extra is enough, and although it may sound uncharitable, I'd rather not have two young ones running around, eating up all the food, taking showers several times a day and forgetting to do the dishes, laundry or cleaning. Yikes!
I'm at the age where I should be socking away money for retirement and have very little so far. It all gets spent. In the past six months I had to spring for son's car insurance twice, a unplanned (and fairly large) expense. Plus he was supposed to be paying me rent, but wasn't able to do that when going to school. What I'm trying to say is--he's expensive to keep, and old enough to pay his own way. But those sort of things change when family is involved and he is (usually) good company. I just don't want another twenty-something to support! I'm hoping they will find an apartment together either up here or down where she's at. Have a good day!
My real child, who isn't a child anymore, took off late last night to stay with his girlfriend again in a distant city. She may end up coming up here to live but I told him that could be only very temporarily. One extra is enough, and although it may sound uncharitable, I'd rather not have two young ones running around, eating up all the food, taking showers several times a day and forgetting to do the dishes, laundry or cleaning. Yikes!
I'm at the age where I should be socking away money for retirement and have very little so far. It all gets spent. In the past six months I had to spring for son's car insurance twice, a unplanned (and fairly large) expense. Plus he was supposed to be paying me rent, but wasn't able to do that when going to school. What I'm trying to say is--he's expensive to keep, and old enough to pay his own way. But those sort of things change when family is involved and he is (usually) good company. I just don't want another twenty-something to support! I'm hoping they will find an apartment together either up here or down where she's at. Have a good day!
8 Comments:
I don't think you should be paying his way...not when he's old enough to be on his own.
I know, at the moment, I have The PK and my (soon to be) 22 year old stepdaughter on my insurance here at work...and it's costing me around $300.00 a month (my health insurance is supplied to me for free...I've just got to pay for any extra people...husband, kids, etc.) IF The PK gets this new job, he'll have his OWN insurance, so I will then cancel my "extra people" policy here at work and save The PK and I $300.00 a month (which will easily make one of our loan payments). My stepdaughter IS NOT going to be thrilled over this but she'll be 22 soon...and at 22 years old, I had a job with insurance...we figure she can do the same.
Good for you, PBS!
For me, having a pregnancy dream borders on nightmarish. LOL
I read an article about young people depending more and more on parental support in this day and age, usually due to the high cost of living expenses. As you know my older daughter came back home, not once but twice, and she was under our full support. Thankfully, she finally got an apartment with her bf and he got a decent job and they are taking care of themselves.
Yikes!! that dream would have been a little frightening!
Not uncharitable at all! If they're old enough to pay their own way, then they should.
Mind you ask me how I feel about that in another 10 years time!
Well you know how I feel about the kids moving back in...it scares me to death. It's just so hard though because you want to be the mom that's always there for their kids but you also want them to eventually fend for themselves. I guess there is no easy answer.
Oh, and I'm with you on the little kid, toddler thing. I am just not good with kids. To be totally honest, I really don't like kids. I like mine but I've yet to find any others I like.
When I was growing up, the family rule was that when you turned 18..you were out. If you turned 18 before high school graduation, you could stay until that day....but after that, you were on your own.
I disagree with most of that. I can't imagine forcing my child to be on her own at 18.
But, the truth is that most of the reason that I am so independent is because of that rule. It was either sink or swim and I swam like a dolphin.
It's a hard call for anyone to make.
And who the hell wants to share the shower?
A dream about being pregnant!!
First of all for me it would be impossible, but if it wasn't, WOW what a nightmare.
pbs...don't let it get started...it won't work out. You're a very nice and sweet person...but this will get on your nerves in no time..believe me. It all starts out well intentioned and then it manages to spiral into ugly. You already said it correctly about him needing to get his own place...it would remain civilized that way. I finally paid my son's way to get his own place with her...because it was causing him to play up being the man (in my household) and to save our relationship that was spiraling into the ugly...I paid for everything for him to get set-up in an apartment. I was right to do it...and of course because I was right he resented it. And my son was younger than yours at the time. Good luck.
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