Friday, July 28, 2006

On and off of the work topic

Yep, it's more about work today, surprised? Either that or I would have to write pages in my notebook journal and I don't have time or the arm (and hand) for that much writing!

Former Big Boss came back from vacation yesterday. He has been the only person to actually come up to me and talk about my move to the reception desk. I really appreciate it more than I can say. Everyone else has ignored the very obvious fact that I've moved out of my office and now sit at a desk in the middle of the front office floor. It's like they are uncomfortable or embarrassed to even bring it up. If they're uncomfortable or embarrassed--my feelings are ten-fold!

Why is it that people are loath to actually come out and talk about, or at least mention and acknowledge stuff like that? I believe it's simple cowardice.

Like when there's a death in the family. Many if not most people shy away from mentioning it beyond the "Sorry about your ____(insert loved one's role), as if they might remind the person their mother or father has died. I would rather doubt a person would forget something like that, even for a moment when it's a recent, fresh fact!

People say things like, "I don't want to reopen wounds." As if the mention of the fact is going to hurt the person worse than losing a loved one did! Everyone is different, but when my Dad died I WANTED to talk about it, about him, at least a little bit but most people would shy away from that subject or change the subject if I brought it up. I think they were afraid that I might cry or something. And then what would they do?! Oooh that might be awkward or uncomfortable--for THEM!

I think that's a huge cop-out for avoiding very real human feelings. So what if I cried a little (I didn't, actually) that's not scary or horrible, just normal. We can deal with things like that and support each other instead of shying away from the "uncomfortable" subjects! Well, enough of that, but I do feel strongly about getting up some courage and dealing with each other in an honest and supportive manner!

OK, I got off into one of my (many) rant subjects and was sidetracked from talk about work. Are you glad? It's Friday, and I am SO glad to get relief from the busy crossroads of sitting at the front desk! Have a good day and a great weekend!


Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I'm guilty!!! When someone passes and I have to speak to one of the loved ones left behind, I get VERY uncomfortable about what to say and how to say it. I had an Aunt who knew just the right words...but it always seemed like when I tried to convey my sorrow for (or rather to) them, I always thought I sounded phoney, you know what I mean?

Hope your Friday goes by quickly and you can start enjoying your weekend! ;)

6:48 AM  
Blogger PBS said...

Here's a secret: it doesn't matter WHAT you say to a person who has just suffered a loss! You won't sound phoney to a person that's hurting, just like you CARE.

It isn't the actual words at all that matter. What's important is the acknowledgement of the loss and LISTENING to what they have to say (if anything, maybe they don't want to talk about it, but will still appreciate and cherish your kind support).

7:28 AM  
Blogger 2HB2 said...

I'm also afraid I'll just say something inappropriate in those situations. My mouth and my mind seldom work in unison.
I understand your point though..

7:47 AM  
Blogger Fizzy said...

in your work place situation,I think the silence shows everyone's uneasiness with your situation, it also makes them look like cowards.

what is happening to you is cruel.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Denny Shane said...

I think as far as speaking to someone in a death situation is fairly universal... Subconsciously I think we do not want to possibly open a wound with the bereaved. Sometimes a simple "I'm sorry" suffices. THEN maybe the bereaved one will talk a little more, which encourages you to talk a little more. Shrug.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Walker said...

I think its obvious employer has very little if ANY employee syumpathy.
I really really hope you find a job and leave that place so they could see how fucked t hey are without you.
They are rude not trying to make you feel comfortable in your workplace.
As for bringing up a death, it's hard for me to because I hate reminding people of a sorrowful moment but just the same acknoslegment is important.
Have a nice weekend :)

12:58 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

I'm better off left alone at a time like that because it's harder on me to cry in front of people than if they were silent. But if someone says something to me I show appreciation and try real hard not to cry. And because of how I am I tend to be one of those that would just die if I mentioned something to make someone cry. It's a very weird position to be in.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

PBS, you're one smart cookie! But we already knew that ;o)

I'm glad big boss decided to approach you, i can't understand some people attitude, i would have thought one of your work colleauges would have said something.

Have a great weekend!

2:17 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

maybe they all feel that you should have kept your office but were unable to help you and now feel bad for you...???

its so cruel what they've allowed them to do, i hope your big boss is doing something about it...

have a great stress free weekend


2:48 AM  
Blogger Aims said...

It is tough when people avoid talking to you for fear of upsetting you & getting embarrassed but you're right, we all need to talk at times & emotions are normal.

10:47 AM  

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