It's getting fainter

It's a Friday but I'm not dressed in jeans and casual wear. This morning we are going to the funeral of the father of a co-worker. He wasn't that old, in his 60's and died at home of cancer (after they had done all they could for him) just like my Dad. It's going to be a hard funeral but none of them are exactly happy events, are they? The family farm may have to be sold, mother moved into town. Deaths like his are a big change in the family.

I'm a little nervous about going to a long Catholic mass with my co-workers. I have a history of fainting in church and wouldn't that be the most awful thing, to faint during a funeral? I would be so embarrassed. And then there's the "call the ambulance" thing--which is not necessary, but I since I can't move or speak, I can't tell them that! I may mention it to my favorite co-worker, bring a bottle of water in my purse and try to sit at one of the ends of the pew. I hope that will help.

I think it's being too warm and people all crowded together that do it. I used to get a panic attack in elevators too, but got over it when I worked at a job on the 7th floor! I still don't like being in a packed elevator but then most people don't.

I feel guilty about obsessing about myself and my problems instead of the loss co-worker and his family have suffered. But then again, I don't want to make a scene at such a dignified event either.

A few hours after the funeral we have a graduation party for another co-worker who just got his Master's. It doesn't sound like we are going to get much work done today but that the day may be long. Happy Friday to you!