The End is Near
06-06-06 will the world end today? At least we can go out with a (small) laugh.
From my E-mail:
The Tate Family
You may have heard of the Tate Family. Members of this family attend every group.
There is Dic Tate who wants to run everything.
Ro Tate tries to change things --- whether they need it or not.
Agi Tate stirs up trouble whenever possible.
She gets a helping hand from her brother, Irri Tate.
Devas Tate loves to interrupt whatever is happening.
And Poten Tate wants to be the big shot.
When new ideas are suggested, Hesi Tate and Vegi Tate are quick to say why they will not possibly work.
Imi Tate would rather copy others than try something new.
Helpful Medicines
Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-one-all - When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
Jack Asspirin - Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin - Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Got any favorite medications?
From my E-mail:
The Tate Family
You may have heard of the Tate Family. Members of this family attend every group.
There is Dic Tate who wants to run everything.
Ro Tate tries to change things --- whether they need it or not.
Agi Tate stirs up trouble whenever possible.
She gets a helping hand from her brother, Irri Tate.
Devas Tate loves to interrupt whatever is happening.
And Poten Tate wants to be the big shot.
When new ideas are suggested, Hesi Tate and Vegi Tate are quick to say why they will not possibly work.
Imi Tate would rather copy others than try something new.
Helpful Medicines
Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-one-all - When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
Jack Asspirin - Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin - Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Got any favorite medications?
10 Comments:
You forgot Milli Tate who demands everything be done her way or else.
Nope, it's just going to be another mediocre Tuesday (but at least it's not Monday anymore!) :)
Those were cute, by the way! :)
Ha! Thanks for the laugh!
How about:
Mydoll- turns a woman into a plastic Barbie during her time of the month so men can store them in the cupboard with the other toys.
Mendgay- allows women to turn all those perfect but gay men into the man of their dreams.
Preparation Eh- because Canadians get hemorrhoids too..
That is too funny... have a great day!
thanks for sticking with me while I was caught up in family things; nice smiley post.
"Mydoll- turns a woman into a plastic Barbie during her time of the month so men can store them in the cupboard with the other toys."
The whole post was brilliant, but "MYDOLL" was the icing!
Little Man Tate actually had a movie made about his life! It was filmed here in Ohio and it was Jodie Foster's Directorial Debut.
well were all still here, or at least i think we are, not been out of the front door yet...lol
you get such funny emails, it really brightens my morning...
:0)
Very funny...hope I can remember them.
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