Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day!

How To Know You're Ready For Parenthood
from my E-mail

MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute small plastic dinosaurs, tea sets or army men.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (a litter of large puppies or half-grown kittens work best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff it into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside. Easier to obtain testing materials: try to dress the (above) litter of puppies or kittens and KEEP the clothing on them!

FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Get the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. Repeat.

Walker wrote a beautiful tribute to Mother's and to women who never had children but have a strong maternal instinct. A link to his blog Lost Here and Beyond is on the right.

Yesterday I got to see my good friend SLA, hadn't seen her or Houseguest for ages. I didn't do my usual Saturday coffeehouse thing, but went shopping for a bathroom rug (how exciting is that?) We couldn't have one on the floor before because of the possibility of my Mom slipping or tripping on it.

It sounds like it's raining again, as I hear it on our tall, long windows. But at least we didn't get the SNOW that was predicted, yet anyway.

I'm tired, a bit sore from exercising and also wondering how my "Mom" visit will go later today. I haven't seen her since Thursday night and she hasn't called to give me her new phone number. It was her choice to move out, even though I'm happy about it, so I really don't know why she's mad at me. She is an all-or-nothing type of person, always has been. She either adores or dispises you and I'm afraid I've gone into the latter category. First it was our little dog, who she used to adore, then my son who fell out of her adoration, and now me.

But I don't think she's ever adored me, I've always been the blacksheep of the family. Our relationship has always been rocky since I left home to go to school in the town where she worked and started in a relationship with her (didn't really have one as a child, she wasn't ever home.)

I discussed it some with SLA, but not too much as she has issues of her own and her mother has been gone many years now. Guess I'm lucky that Mom's still around, many people aren't as fortunate. Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and maternal people!


Blogger deni said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

9:22 AM  
Blogger Walker said...

Happy Mother's Day
Thank you very much for the link Enjoy your day :D

12:22 PM  
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Happy Mothers' Day PBS. From one "Black Sheep" to another! lol!!

2:36 PM  
Blogger Lorna said...

adoration is over-rated anyway.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

fkwjHappy Mothers Day PBS :o)

6:35 PM  
Blogger Magicfingers said...

Happy Mother's Day PBJ.
Love your mama
Be there for her if she needs you.
The rest is up to her
Don't feel alone, there are a lot of us blacksheep

9:46 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

Happy Mother's Day!

2:35 AM  

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