Yeah, OK I was kind of dim
Oh dear, at least it’s Friday. I went out right after work last night and pretty much made part of my dream come true, got sort of trashed. My mouth feels like a sandbox today and my head distinctively heavy. Haven’t done that for a long, long time. Those Cosmos can sneak up on one when you are used to drinking beer—and getting full long before any effects! Anyway, I had a really good, rowdy time. I seem to remember pretending to hitch a ride to my car by holding out a thumb and later holding on to the antenna of a friend’s car as hostage (they couldn’t move the car while I stood in the road and held on to the antenna, or the antenna would get all bent). At least it was pretty funny at the time. And as much as I wanted to drunken dial Vegetable Man, my friends made sure that I didn’t, and that I got home safely too.
Ah, Vegetable Man, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve seen him. He still sends me cute little funny things in E-mails, like some of the jokes I put into the blog. Actually I DID sort of have a talk with him, sorry if I didn’t explain it very well yesterday morning, perhaps I was still in a bit in denial. The way I explained the whole thing, it sounded like I didn’t know how he felt about me. I wish that was the case! In fact by talking is how I found out about his lack of reciprocal feelings for me. Wait, let’s start again, I’m confused, even if you aren’t!
The last time I saw him we had spent a wonderful evening of first walking around the farm outside, and then inside, and then, well, you know. It became later and he was hungry and was in the kitchen finding some food. I, like usual lately, was not hungry at all. Then he, out of the blue, mentioned that he was thinking of posting one of those dating ads because he wanted to find a good woman. I think I just about fell over! It was the sort of thing you would tell a good friend.
In a choked voice I said, “But I thought WE were getting together, you know, like tonight, like lately.” He got a weird look on his face and said, “uh oh, I didn’t think we really had a relationship like THAT or anything.” Despite the fact this conversation makes him sound like kind of a jerk, he really is not. He’s normally kind and compassionate and quite sensitive. He looked stricken and guilty when I said “Yeah, maybe I didn’t think we had an automatic or instantaneous relationship either but at least I was willing to give us a try. This meant something to me. I don’t hook up casually.” So of course we went back and forth a few times, me trying not to cry and sound halfway reasonable while feeling like my newly revved-up heart was breaking.
Basically it came down to the grim fact he had not even considered our getting together any sort of relationship at all, not in the present, not a possibility in the future. And what’s worse, despite all the things I’d said to him each time, somehow he had just figured that I felt the same way as he did about it. That it was just the expanding of a long, great friendship and if he wanted a romance or a “relationship” he would have to look elsewhere. It was such a shock to me that I could have so misinterpreted his little gestures, like giving me flowers and other seemingly romantic gestures as reigniting our love relationship. I could tell he was uncomfortable and felt horrible about the “misunderstanding” but it could hardly compare to how awful I was feeling!
Well, that was a few days ago. Last night I got home from my outing with friends (NOT “friends plus”, I’ll have you know!) and still had to do the recycling and garbage for tomorrow since my son was working. That was interesting, hope the garbage people take it OK this morning. I let my little dog out for a walk and the fresh air helped clear my head a little. But then I listened to my phone messages, hoping for one from Vegetable Man, of course, and got another sort of message instead.
The very first phone message was from my doctor, wanting me to call her to set up an appointment, even saying that she would be there until 6:00 p.m. I think I sobered up right then and there. OMG, what does this mean? I hate to even think about it too much before I call her today. She said she would be in again at 9:30 a.m. this morning Good thing I’ve been frantically busy at work, that will make the time from now until then go faster, until I find out what’s happening. Wish me luck, if there is such a thing when dealing with this. Oh, you know what, while typing the last part I just thought of something after stewing about it all night. This may just be the set up for the ultrasound test, sorry about that! But welcome to my rollercoaster world (lately)! Hope you have a great day, it’s Friday after all and you deserve it!
From my E-mail
RSVPs to the Inventor’s Ball
Ampere was worried he wasn't current with style.
Audubon said he'd have to wing it with his old clothes.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure at work to attend.
Darwin waited to see what evolved with the party plans.
Descartes said he'd think about it and get back to us later.
Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately. He did ask if a substitute could attend in his place.
Edison thought a party would be illuminating, and that a light supper would be perfect.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend the ball.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule.
Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend these sorts of events with greater frequency.
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out of it.
Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."
Newton planned to drop in as a gate crasher.
Ohm resisted the idea, he would rather sit home and meditate.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought of taking his dog as a costume accessory.
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Volta was electrified, and Archemedes buoyant at the thought of an Inventor’s Ball.
Watt reckoned that dancing would be a good way to let off steam.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orwell could get a flight, and they promised to add to the party kitty.
Ah, Vegetable Man, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve seen him. He still sends me cute little funny things in E-mails, like some of the jokes I put into the blog. Actually I DID sort of have a talk with him, sorry if I didn’t explain it very well yesterday morning, perhaps I was still in a bit in denial. The way I explained the whole thing, it sounded like I didn’t know how he felt about me. I wish that was the case! In fact by talking is how I found out about his lack of reciprocal feelings for me. Wait, let’s start again, I’m confused, even if you aren’t!
The last time I saw him we had spent a wonderful evening of first walking around the farm outside, and then inside, and then, well, you know. It became later and he was hungry and was in the kitchen finding some food. I, like usual lately, was not hungry at all. Then he, out of the blue, mentioned that he was thinking of posting one of those dating ads because he wanted to find a good woman. I think I just about fell over! It was the sort of thing you would tell a good friend.
In a choked voice I said, “But I thought WE were getting together, you know, like tonight, like lately.” He got a weird look on his face and said, “uh oh, I didn’t think we really had a relationship like THAT or anything.” Despite the fact this conversation makes him sound like kind of a jerk, he really is not. He’s normally kind and compassionate and quite sensitive. He looked stricken and guilty when I said “Yeah, maybe I didn’t think we had an automatic or instantaneous relationship either but at least I was willing to give us a try. This meant something to me. I don’t hook up casually.” So of course we went back and forth a few times, me trying not to cry and sound halfway reasonable while feeling like my newly revved-up heart was breaking.
Basically it came down to the grim fact he had not even considered our getting together any sort of relationship at all, not in the present, not a possibility in the future. And what’s worse, despite all the things I’d said to him each time, somehow he had just figured that I felt the same way as he did about it. That it was just the expanding of a long, great friendship and if he wanted a romance or a “relationship” he would have to look elsewhere. It was such a shock to me that I could have so misinterpreted his little gestures, like giving me flowers and other seemingly romantic gestures as reigniting our love relationship. I could tell he was uncomfortable and felt horrible about the “misunderstanding” but it could hardly compare to how awful I was feeling!
Well, that was a few days ago. Last night I got home from my outing with friends (NOT “friends plus”, I’ll have you know!) and still had to do the recycling and garbage for tomorrow since my son was working. That was interesting, hope the garbage people take it OK this morning. I let my little dog out for a walk and the fresh air helped clear my head a little. But then I listened to my phone messages, hoping for one from Vegetable Man, of course, and got another sort of message instead.
The very first phone message was from my doctor, wanting me to call her to set up an appointment, even saying that she would be there until 6:00 p.m. I think I sobered up right then and there. OMG, what does this mean? I hate to even think about it too much before I call her today. She said she would be in again at 9:30 a.m. this morning Good thing I’ve been frantically busy at work, that will make the time from now until then go faster, until I find out what’s happening. Wish me luck, if there is such a thing when dealing with this. Oh, you know what, while typing the last part I just thought of something after stewing about it all night. This may just be the set up for the ultrasound test, sorry about that! But welcome to my rollercoaster world (lately)! Hope you have a great day, it’s Friday after all and you deserve it!
From my E-mail
RSVPs to the Inventor’s Ball
Ampere was worried he wasn't current with style.
Audubon said he'd have to wing it with his old clothes.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure at work to attend.
Darwin waited to see what evolved with the party plans.
Descartes said he'd think about it and get back to us later.
Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately. He did ask if a substitute could attend in his place.
Edison thought a party would be illuminating, and that a light supper would be perfect.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend the ball.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule.
Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend these sorts of events with greater frequency.
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out of it.
Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."
Newton planned to drop in as a gate crasher.
Ohm resisted the idea, he would rather sit home and meditate.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought of taking his dog as a costume accessory.
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Volta was electrified, and Archemedes buoyant at the thought of an Inventor’s Ball.
Watt reckoned that dancing would be a good way to let off steam.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orwell could get a flight, and they promised to add to the party kitty.
14 Comments:
Oh sweetie, I didn't know you and V Man had had that little chat. And, had it been me, I would've been feeling the EXACT same way you had felt.
The difference between you and I (I think anyway) is that not only would my heart have broke a little bit, I would've been a little pissed off too. I think, if he just wanted to be "friends with benefits" he should've made that clear BEFORE anything happened.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you (both about V Man and the doc's appointment...please keep us posted!)
P.S. - I tied one on last night myself and right now I feel like my head is full of cotton and I've been licking the inside of a litter box, so you're not alone there! ;)
Sorry about the V-man thing. It doesn't seem quite right somehow. I'll keep my fingers crossed re your appointment.
I really admire that you can write so lucidly, and so without rancour,about things that are so central to your life. I'm praying everything goes well.
I must have missed where you talk about what you do, and why you're going to Washington. Please send me an e-mail at moviequeen89@yahoo.ca and tell me where to read.
i would be feeling exactly the same way, i think its wrong that he didn't make his intentions clear before things went further...hes misled you completely without any regard for your feelings...but i don't think men think about things like that, we're just wired a little differently i suppose...
why is it that the men of our dreams turn out to be complete assholes...lol
and i am keeping you in my thoughts and hope that all goes well with your doc's appointment...
*big hugs*
:0)
Unreciprocated love is an issue that has preoccupied my mind a lot lately. I have many memories of my own to draw from in that area.
I can see how you would have misinterpreted his gestures...flowers, etc. I would have as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. In the end, though, it's all "grist for the mill".
My fingers are crossed on news from the doctor.
i really like those scientist puns. i've copied them. i'm a real sad case
I am so sorry my friend that the v-man can't see that you are a great woman.
I don't understand why some men are so blind.
I am really hoping that your doctor's appointment is nothing to worry about.
If you need to vent, just yell. k?
I had my own 'scare' last year, thankfully everything was fine, I hope you get the same results.
Ug. I hope you don't have too bad of a hangover today! We all have to have that reminiscent drunk episode now and then.
Hope things go better with Veggie man! That was kind of crappy what he did.
Hmmmmmmm snmacking someone in the head with a large zuccini come's to mind.
I guess some people are emotionally blind.
Have a nice weekend
Hugs to you worrying about he Veggie Man. You're too good for him anyway. And your tests will be okay...I just know they will.
I used to know a Professor with a strange name - Atomic. One of his kids is named Nucleus. I bet there is a Proton, Neutron, Electron... somewhere, someone in his family :)
I am sorry that all this is happening to you all at the same time. It all seems so unfair.
Let us know about the call to the doctor, if you need an ear we are all here some of us have E-mail addresses on our blogs.
Look after yourself.
(I tried to send you a neomail)
Hmmmm Veggie man needs a good foot up the bum! Sounds like he wants the "desert" but no main meal so to speak!
Crossing fingers the 2 of you can get it sorted, and things go well re doctor :)
I'm sorry things seem to have taken a turn for the unpleasant. I'll take your word the guy's not a jerk because you said so and also because if he were you probably would not have cared the least about him. It can be difficult for guys to be perceptive about things sometimes.
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