Wednesday, November 02, 2005

No jury duty today, either

Congratulations to AC, Stacy and Michelle for scoring an “A” on my quiz! I wish I had prizes for you! AC got them all right! That makes me ashamed of the horrible score I got on Dale’s and now Fizzy's quizzes, I do read your blogs carefully, honest! Thanks to everybody who took my quiz. I’m hoping some more of you will make a personal quiz too.

I had a weird dream about the Ship of Ghouls and working on statistics. It wasn’t at my real job though. I love doing statistics at my real job too. Demographic stuff is SO interesting to me. I’ve also been doing a lot of accounting stuff, which is closely related in that I use a calculator for both of them!

From my E-mail
Pilots' Wisdom

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

Quick Quotes
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." -Unknown

"I married a younger man. Ten years younger than I am. I figure it like this: If you can't find a good man, raise one." --Unknown

"Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn remarked that Murphy was a very lucky man, because his own wife makes him walk to the pub." –Unknown

Fast Work
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the school yard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.

The first one said: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!"

The second one said: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!"

Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: "Sorry, dudes... but MY DAD is the fastest. He's a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,... and he's home by 3:45!"
______

I love getting off work at my normal time again! Makes starting so early tolerable. It does seem like it should be Thursday or Friday instead of merely Wednesday. I didn’t get called to jury duty again today, what a bummer. There are only two days left in my term of service and then I can’t be called back for several years. So maybe the time on Monday was it for my jury service this time around. But I thought I was going to miss it altogether with being gone a week for the convention, so one day (and the possibility of more) was better than none at all! Have a great Wednesday.

12 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

OOOoooo goodie, first again! And i did good on the quiz! LOL, i loved the question "who you had a crush on"......."the wizard of Oz" LOL..too funny!
Happy hump Day!
Heyyyyyyyyy, my word verifcation is....bbrrr
how funny, i hope it isn't too cold!

6:08 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Excellent quotes! :)

(And thanks...I loved your quiz! Soon as I get some time, I'm making one up myself!:)

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like number 17. Because my husband is a heli pilot

9:34 AM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

No jury duty what a bummer!! Well have a great Wednesday one day closer to Friday woo hoo!!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Ms Mac said...

I loved the Pilot's Wisdom! Thanks for the chuckle!

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your jokes are great as ever!

1:04 PM  
Blogger Happy and Blue 2 said...

I always like the jokes.
Hope the rest of your week flies by. Well the work part of it anyways..

1:08 PM  
Blogger katie said...

I loved the quiz! I will have to do one for myself.
So you are taken out of the jury pool for several years? Is that the way it works everywhere?

3:45 PM  
Blogger Lorna said...

scary pilot jokes; luckily, I can't afford to fly anymore.

11:16 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

# 3 is the one that got me...how true.

12:02 AM  
Blogger gal artist said...

Where's the quiz? I missed it, dern. :)

1:22 AM  
Blogger glomgold said...

Still waiting to one day be called to jury duty. How come they always seem to find people who don't want to do it but never the people who do?

1:53 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home