Hi again, I'm back (sort of)

So sorry for my long absence and lack of comments on your blogs. I've missed you. The yoga and meditation was and still is an infatuation. Or at least that's what my friends think, and they know me very well. But I have to say that without blogging and TV watching I've had lots and lots of "extra" time. I really have missed the cute stories, inspiring thoughts and day-to-day situations of the blogs I used to read regularly. Actually, I've read a few at work a couple of times, but couldn't comment, of course.

A joke for when I (finally) blog post again....
The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

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And another, sort of joke:
We heard a runor recently that a large university was conducting an in-depth study of why men have such a hard time picking up women. We think the following list of common pickup lines more than explains the problem:
• I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
• Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!
• Excuse me, but I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your place?
• Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?
• I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
• I wish I were a tear so I could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
• Are you sure that we haven't met somewhere in a past life?
• Can I have directions to your heart?
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
• You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot.
• Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
• Baby you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!
• Are you an overdue book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!
• If I followed you home, would you keep me?
• If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
• Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?
• Call the police!! It has to be illegal to look that fine!
• I lost my number, can I have yours?
• Is your father a baker? Because those sure are some nice buns!
• Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?