Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Battening down for Winter

We have a snowstorm predicted for today and there’s fresh snow on the ground. I had a reasonably good day yesterday, for a Monday, hope yours was at least OK, too. I had letters to get out, supplies to order and other things to do at work. I saw some of the convention photos, which was fun and did some cleaning and organizing, which was not. The V-Man called me in the morning and we had a short chat. Later at home he IM’d me and then sent me some E-mail jokes, below.

The hay bales for the water and septic lines are only the beginning of getting ready for winter. Next, I need to put plastic on the windows and tape on the door to weatherize the house. They’re an ugly addition to the décor, but necessary to keep relatively warm over the winter. I also need to dig out the snow shovels and the ice chopper. Each car gets a snow shovel to carry for emergences, a coffee can of sand, jumper cables, a blanket and some other stuff. "Battening the hatches." as my parents used to say when I was a child.

Now here’s something funny. Guess I’m living in the wrong area! A sled for transportation might work though, I could slide down the hill.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Major Lion
Your Superpower is Radiation
Your Weakness is Cold Weather
Your Weapon is Your Plasma Torch
Your Mode of Transportation is Sled


Gender Jokes from the V-Man
WORDS WOMEN USE ******************************

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.


Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh


You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Have a great Tuesday!

14 Comments:

Blogger deni said...

We have unseasonably warm temps in the 60's. Which is good for the heating bill. We have plans to decorate our house in plastic too. And hubby's friend is supposed to come over and finish servicing the furnace. Hopefully, it will be more efficient.

And that reminds me, I have to buy a bale of hay for the dogs, it helps insulate their kennels.

6:25 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

Snow, wow! None of that around here. I send the munchkin to school in a light jacket over a short-sleeved shirt. The jacket is useless by lunchtime.

My superhero name is The Android Lion. ???

6:50 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

i can't believe anywhere is that cold enough to have snow yet...agh it must drive you mad...

we don't do much to prepare for winter...

:0)

7:28 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

ACK!!! All that snow talk is giving me cold chills! :)

I want it to be summer again! :)

7:48 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

Here in Georgia we batten down the winter hatches in a different way. When it gets cold, I close the window. If it gets really cold, I supplement that by turning on the heat. Otherwise all the stuff's the same.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Boy, and I thought we had a lot of work to do to prepare for our winters in St. Paul! Predicted that we're going to get our first snow today, or at least this week. Those gosh-darned leaves--try to get them off the sidewalk for easier shoveling this winter, and out of the gutters on the street so the melting snow can run freely in the spring, and of course every time we get rid of them, the wind replaces our leaves with everyone else's! P.S. Love your list of "things women say." I've said a few of those myself.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Brooklyn said...

WOMENS WORDS JUST CRACKED ME UP -!!!! I COPIED AND SENT IT TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!!!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Martini Love said...

Your Superhero Name is The Turbo Cavalier
Your Superpower is Unexplained
Your Weakness is Quizzes

This is too funny, I don't sound like a very good superhero!!

1:20 PM  
Blogger katie said...

That sounds like a lot of work! It's finally getting cold here, so I guess I will have to accept that winter is on its way.

1:26 PM  
Blogger :phil: said...

That cold already? We re starting to get into the low 30's at night. I have to put that old plastic on the windows too.
Always love you jokes/comments.
NOTHING means SOMETHING MAJOR is going to happen

2:22 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

We had a major snow storm yesterday.
The jokes are funny and informative, tee,hee..

6:10 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

PBS~ Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease gimme some of your snow!!!

7:34 PM  
Blogger fugusashi said...

PBS, unless you just LOVE snow, you should move south. That sounds like alot of work. We had a cold front move through today...it's currently sixty degrees!

I think I might be a man at heart:

FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

If you reverse the above situation, you have me and my husband.

9:53 PM  
Blogger dan said...

it's really pleasant for novermber here.

hope the storm isn't too bad.

as for super heroes, i couldnt ever be one.

4:49 AM  

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