Battening down for Winter

We have a snowstorm predicted for today and there’s fresh snow on the ground. I had a reasonably good day yesterday, for a Monday, hope yours was at least OK, too. I had letters to get out, supplies to order and other things to do at work. I saw some of the convention photos, which was fun and did some cleaning and organizing, which was not. The V-Man called me in the morning and we had a short chat. Later at home he IM’d me and then sent me some E-mail jokes, below.

The hay bales for the water and septic lines are only the beginning of getting ready for winter. Next, I need to put plastic on the windows and tape on the door to weatherize the house. They’re an ugly addition to the décor, but necessary to keep relatively warm over the winter. I also need to dig out the snow shovels and the ice chopper. Each car gets a snow shovel to carry for emergences, a coffee can of sand, jumper cables, a blanket and some other stuff. "Battening the hatches." as my parents used to say when I was a child.

Now here’s something funny. Guess I’m living in the wrong area! A sled for transportation might work though, I could slide down the hill.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Major Lion Your Superpower is Radiation Your Weakness is Cold Weather Your Weapon is Your Plasma Torch Your Mode of Transportation is Sled

What's your Superhero Name?

Gender Jokes from the V-Man
WORDS WOMEN USE ******************************

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.


Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Have a great Tuesday!