Tuesday, August 16, 2005

My foolish heart

Yesterday was a busy day at work, just like I had figured except we had TWO meetings, not just one. The deadline has finally passed, thank god, but now I will have people calling and E-mailing me to get in at the discount price! Sorry, too late! But I’m nice to them.

Had a strange phone call at work and it wasn’t work-related. Remember my post about the guy I had a six-year relationship with and we were even engaged? I hope you DON’T remember what I wrote as I’m taking a drastic 180 from what I said in that post. We’ve been just friends for the past many years, although we don’t see or even speak to each other very often anymore. He had a live-in girlfriend and he didn’t want to make her jealous even though there was no reason for her to be jealous. Well, to make a long story short, he didn’t mention her in the phone conversation and usually he does, a lot. And usually that would not affect me one way or the other, but I find myself hoping that they have broken up! How bad is that? And how foolish, too.

He’s invited me over to his farm to see his vegetables. The farm is a glorious place where I once dreamed of living. The soil is sandy, not like my clay and rocks and gardens grow like Eden there. There’s woods and a pond and many outbuildings including an interesting old barn. My son and I were invited last year and the invitation came from the both of them. He called her by my name about three times during the visit, which was embarrassing but we all just ignored it. I had to leave early because I was on that wicked 300-600 calorie per day diet and there was nothing at the BBQ that I could eat. He’s been the one who has wanted to get back together several times (not when living with his girlfriend, of course!) and I’ve been the standoffish one. Now he must have caught me at a bad time as I’m wondering….

We are still friends. We really enjoy each other’s company. The phone call turned into a long one (but I worked while talking) and it was like we had just seen each other. And the relationship (the six years we had it) was HOT hot hot, if you know what I mean.

Well, probably my timing is all off. Now that I think I might want him back, he’s probably still living with her. If that’s the case, I’m going to be awfully disappointed but will just drop it there. I’m not one to even try to break up other people’s relationships.

But he’s promised me some fresh vegetables from his acres of awesome gardens anyway! He still has a puppy that I gave him, it’s an old dog now but still remembers me. And former fiancé is great company, intelligent and witty. He doesn’t know it but I’ve judged later guys against him, my (once) almost perfect man! It will be good to see him again.

From my E-mail
Dumb Quotes

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing -- but none of them serious."- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

"The Internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."- Britney Spears, Pop Singer


Blogger Katya said...

see this is a situation i would hate to be in, i am such a sucker for a smile and a pretty face...

but on the otherhand you should grasp opportunities when they arise, lifes too short...

i hope it works out either way for you...


6:33 AM  
Blogger Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

hi hi.. new to your site :)

i think let nature takes its course. If you are fated to be together, you will. It will work out for sure!

Lick your lips if you are feeling great! - RHSPapa

6:44 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Wow, i'm really excited for you! Just take it slow, remember you've not been real close for a while so you may only remember the "good" bits of your previous relationship.
Main thing is to have fun and enjoy youself :)
I shall be bursting to hear what happens!

7:03 AM  
Blogger katie said...

I agree with what Michelle said, and I also can't wait to see what happens! If nothing else you will get yummy fresh veggies!

8:54 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Yowza! Sounds like an opportunity may be opening up. Hope it goes your way. At least you will get some yummy veggies out of the visit.

You go girl.

9:29 AM  
Blogger dan said...

blue, i don't know what's with haloscan at the monet. it's a pain in the bum. will try and sort it out

1:31 PM  
Blogger dan said...

i just remembered, the comment you left was on the other blog where i duplicated the post.

i'm sure fate will sort out things with that man if anything is to happen

2:21 PM  
Blogger Brooklyn said...


4:43 PM  
Anonymous John said...

LOL!! Love those quotes... I like the Alicia Silverstone quote the best.

I hope you don't risk a heart break PBS, I've found it better to have physical pain than emotional pain. Pills kill physical pain, but not the other kind...

This from a guy who's petrified of another relationship!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Lorna said...

If it does work out, great; if it doesn't , you've had this great little frisson in your life today.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

"He has invited me over to his farm to see his vegetables" LOL Sounds like a metaphor for something. :)

I hope it works out for the best, weather you get together or not!

Thanks for visiting my site when Rachel was in the hospital. I love your blog! I'm going to add you to my blog list if that is OK.

8:51 PM  
Blogger ...just-rambling... said...

I can't wait to hear what kind of vegetables you get!

9:45 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

If he didn't mention her (at all) I'd venture to say he is on the loose... relationship wise. Afterall this time why hasn't he married her?...because he can't get you out of his mind... that's why! It sounds like you think well of him...so go after him. Life is short and you don't know what is around that corner...get happiness now if you can. What have you to lose? What's sanity anyway, eh? Just kidding...go with what your heart tells you is right.

1:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being the coolest guy on the planet, when I say you have a knack for writing, it's not to be taken lightly! Keep up the great work. Other planetary "cool guys" like myself do actually read these things!

Kind regards,
Sam Freedom
The Coolest Guy on the Planet

2:26 AM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

at least you get free vegetables!

5:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home