Wednesday, August 03, 2005

This and That

It was a busy day at work yesterday. We had a meeting and I spent most of the day doing contracts. So I didn’t have too much time to mourn the loss of my old blog and habitual blog-rounds while on the phone. Things are heating up at work and I’ll be out of town for a couple of days next week.

Speaking of heating, it’s still so warm here. I’m trying to remember the winter cold and enjoy this heat. But it’s hard to do unless I’m sitting in front of a fan or in air-conditioning at work!

I have tassels on my corn and some cucumbers almost ready to pick! My rose has another blossom coming along that I’ll bring to my Mom on Sunday, if it’s still there. Those bad deer had better not eat them!

A woman got mauled by a black bear not too far from here. She was out walking with her dog. The hospital now has to test her for rabies. She was smiling and joking on the news but had some horrific wounds from the attack. She says she’s going to keep going on her walks, brave soul!

From my E-mail
Brilliance Revealed (short stories)
While looking at a house, Tim asked the real estate agent which direction was north, because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When Tim explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

Jake used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day he got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. Jake told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." The caller responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, Jake said, "Uh, Pacific."

Sandy and Trina were eating lunch in the company cafeteria, when they overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove there in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

Paula has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped in the car. She keeps it in the trunk.

Steve and his friends were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, they bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave them a 20% discount.

Diana was hanging out with a friend when they saw a woman wearing a nose ring joined by a chain to her left ear ring. The friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" Diana explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

Sasha and Dustin were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and Sasha asked the clerk which of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. Sasha got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think we add tax to the turkey."

Sharon couldn't find her luggage at the airport baggage area. So she went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that her bags never showed up. The woman smiled and told her not to worry because she was a trained professional and she was in good hands. "Now," she asked Sharon, "has your plane arrived yet?"

These people all vote.

21 Comments:

Blogger deni said...

It's hot here too, it takes no effort to become sweaty at all. Ugh.

I usually love the heat, but this is nearly unbearable.

That is terrible about that woman, a couple months ago a young girl was attacked not to far from here by a bear, but her and her friends were camping in a restricted area.

6:10 AM  
Blogger dan said...

pbs, you need to install shockwave flas playeron your new pc to download the audio posts. It's free.

www.shockwave.com.

6:18 AM  
Blogger dan said...

And before you know it, it will be cold and wintery.

6:19 AM  
Blogger Fizzy said...

Morning. I am sorry you are having so much trouble at work. It sounds bad.

I can not imagine living so close to bears. Deer neither.

I hope things get better for you. I loved your E-mail stuff. The nose ring chain was really funny.
you are in the hands of a trained professional ... lol

6:34 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ahhhhh! Those were funny!!! :)

Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

6:35 AM  
Blogger Katya said...

i would be the stupid one out looking for the bear...i am really that dim, isn't Penfold mouse a cutie, hes the only white hamster we have had...

:0)

7:36 AM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

It's hot here too, but I notice that the nights are cooling down more in this heat wave than in the last few.

7:56 AM  
Blogger dan said...

oops, wrong link earlier.

http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/

7:58 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Mauling? good Lord. You try to do a good thing by taking walks and then you get attacked? That ain't right.

8:37 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

Hi, glad to find your new digs! Sorry about the situation at work. The stupid people stories are cute. Are you familiar with the phrase "Here's your sign?" All those idiots need signs. Go here to see what I mean.

9:09 AM  
Blogger SquirrleyMojo said...

So you are a Minnesota person, eh?

9:11 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

I like reading jokes about stupid people. It makes me feel so smert..

9:17 AM  
Blogger Lorna said...

It's the "these people all vote" comment that threw cold water on me this morning. What a concept!

12:59 PM  
Blogger Aims said...

That woman really is one brave soul.

Those jokes were fab

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

1:41 PM  
Blogger katie said...

Ahh, thank goodness! I was starting to get a bit worried about you. Sorry that you have to change to a new blog, but I am glad you are still around!

2:35 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

We've already taken down our cucumber vines, and the tomatoes are tomatoed out. The heat-wave we have been under for about 25 days has speeded things up for us. We had more tomatoes than we knew what to do with. And with the constant heat it was terrible in the kitchen to stand and fry squash (the Mr. likes it) so I didn't do much of that. This turned out to be a banner year for the veggies because it was a little cooler at first as things were growing nicely...and then the temperatures rose and made everything ripen quickly...and I couldn't keep up with it all. The heat is so much more tiring when you have Lupus. Oh well...

3:16 PM  
Anonymous John said...

It's about 90 here, the humidity is making it really uncomfortable too. So I took the day off work! Was the bear that tore up that woman captured and relocated? I'd carry a 12 gauge with me on future walks!

4:16 PM  
Blogger Ms Mac said...

OMG! A bear! And the Swiss are trying to reintroduce them to Switzerland!!!

5:50 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Completely dying over here over those stories at the end of your post. Incredible.

I hope things start to calm down for you soon with work. Today is my final day at the aquarium; it feels kind of bittersweet for me. Don't really want to leave the job but if I want to maintain any semblence of sanity, I must.

We'll miss you when you go away next week ...
Stay well and happy.

6:04 AM  
Blogger dan said...

thankfully, there are no bears here.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

The deer have hit my roses several times already. I had blooms in late June and now I have just stems...no flowers and no leaves. I hate those deer.

9:29 AM  

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