Sunday, April 09, 2006

A peep of light

Sunday today and my Mom is gone to church! It's the only time she's ever gone out of the entire week. The constant togetherness is really getting to me. Before we all moved in together she said that she liked doing many things alone. But she must do them while we're gone at work, for she wants to be with me, do (or watch and critique, rather) everything I do. Tiring. I relish the 45 minutes to one hour that she's gone each week as a breather, but it's never enough.

So I took a vacation from her yesterday, and oh the situation changed really quickly! Saturday I got up later than normal because it was a weekend. Quickly showered, dressed, cared for the animals (an important point later) and got out of the house before she got up. I knew she wouldn't be happy but thought she'd understand that I need time just for me, too. But nope, she was upset with me, that I didn't hang out with her all day or take her with me everywhere. Upset enough to want to move out. Of course she wanted me to do all the calling apartments and actually finding something, but I got a start already and have one to see on Monday night and one on Thursday night, both after work.

She said she just can't live with our animals any more, that she hates them. My poor little dog was in a state when I came home, so I don't know what she did to her. I never had my parents babysit my son when he was little. Not once. I didn't trust them not to hurt him. So guess I'd better not trust my poor little dog alone with Grandma either. Yikes!

If I sound fed up, I certainly am. Let me give you a sample day with my Mom:
I get up, try to quickly post and comment before she gets up. She gets up and I have to sit and have coffee with her. Everywhere I move to get ready for work, she's there, standing in my way, blocking the path. At first I thought it was funny and a coincidence, now I'm not so sure. I think it's genius instead. Also, most days I barely make it to work on time.

I have to cook dinner the instant I get home (from my often stressful job). Nothing has been touched during the day, no vacuuming, dusting, dishes, sweeping, no housework at all. In fact the place is usually quite dirty. First I cook, with her watching and critiquing my cooking (I HATE cooking, remember) then we eat together, then I do the dishes and sweep the kitchen, do a couple other chores, all under her watchful, critical eye. Finally we sit together in the living room.

My butt has barely hit the couch cushion when Mom asks, "Would you like some toast?"

"No thanks, we just ate." I reply, but know where this is going. A couple of minutes go by.

"Are you SURE you wouldn't like some toast?" she asks. I could reply in the negative again, but know I'm about to be assigned for more work, so just get to it.

"Would YOU like some toast, Mom?" "Oh yes, I would!" she says. So I make her some toast and bring it to her.

"Would you like some tea?" she asks.

"I'll make some tea." I say, resigned to NOT getting to sit in the living room in peace until she goes to bed.

"Good, this toast is so dry. Maybe you could put more butter on it? I think it all melted into the bread." she says. And so it goes, my night after work. The next day it's the same thing all over again. Enough to drive one crazy. I think I AM crazy by now!

So I took a vacation and went shopping yesterday. I did NOT drag her along with me. Shopping with her takes forever and it's an exercise in push and pull. On one hand, she will urge me to buy new clothes, but then criticizes how I look in them, thinks I spend too much money, etc--even for clothes she helped pick out. So I shopped alone and bought black jeans, a black top, one of those fitted sports jackety things and a spring jacket. I also tried on some beautiful suits, sat at the library and read magazines, and in short, had a wonderful day until I figured I'd better get back home.

She wanted to go out to eat the moment I got home (4:00) but I talked her into seeing a movie first. We saw "Failure to Launch" a really cute movie and I enjoyed it. Then we went out to eat, then home where I did some laundry.

I feel much refreshed after my vacation. And especially because now I have hope....haha! Have a great rest of your weekend!


Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Poor dear, since you posted this five times, I assume that you are in a state. (Just kidding. I relaize that Blogger was just acting up.)

9:36 AM  
Blogger Fizzy said...

OH poor you, I am sorry that things are not working out. Maybe seperate apartments that are near to each other may give you your space and still at the same time let you keep an eye on your Mum
Meanwhile you vacation sounded a brill idea and one that you must repeat again ...soon.
Look after yourself
xx Fizz xx

1:16 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I am so pleased you took time out for yourself to re energize.
I can only echo Fizzy's words....repeat the vacation!

8:53 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

your vacation sound great, i'm so sorry that its still not working out, mothers can be a PITA sometimes (or all the

i think a vacation every night is in order, at least for a while after work , let you catch your you really think she will move out...???


2:39 AM  

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