Saturday, August 25, 2007

That was the week that was, it's over let it go

Remember this song from an old TV show "That was the week that was, it's over let it go. Oh what a week that was. That was the week that was. That was the week that was." Well, something like that. I might not have it quite right but I can hear that tune in my head. It would be a good theme song for this past week. First a recap and then a brief update on SLA's situation:

Sunday night: My foot went through the floor in the entryway--with an Open House in hours. It didn't really matter since it turned out that once again nobody came to the Open House. Later Amanda and Anton gave me the worm bin. I love the little critters and had always wanted a worm bin to compost indoors.

Monday night: Was pretty much forced to go out with SLA and sleazeball because she wanted me to hear him sing karaoke, and to celebrate their engagement as he had proposed to her on the same karaoke floor the night before.

Tuesday: Came home from work and PT appointment to a crying phone call from SLA. This was the news about the huge overdraft. She came over and I fed her, listened and suggested.

Wednesday: Was told I had to move out of my office a week early. SLA is calling me at work all day, crying and wringing her hands.

Thursday: Was on the phone with SLA off and on the entire afternoon (while working) and getting her to set down actions to do, like call the police, etc. Went to a PT appointment, had to pop into the library to return some DVDs and then rushed home to cook and clean house for UHI's arrival. UHI came at 5:30, which didn't give me much time! We had a wonderful time and ate too much. SLA called me during that time but I had to tell her I'd call her back. UHI left at 9:00 and I called SLA and spent a lot of time on the phone with her. She was still determined to go through with the actions we'd plotted out.

Friday: Stacks of dishes to do in the morning before work from the dinner the night before. Moving out of my office at work, severe leg pain from carrying stuff so I had to take a half-hour lunch and lie down on the wooden floor. With no office I had trouble finding a place to do that, kept getting interrupted. SLA calls me in the afternoon saying that she "didn't feel motivated" she had planned to get the things she'd bought and return them to the store to get a refund to bring to her bank.

Saturday: the two bags of work "refuse" to UHI and then a Saturday with Mom. She had a birthday gift and flowers for me, pink roses! I got home and there was no word from SLA. I think she didn't go through with it and was afraid to call me.

SLA's situation, as much as I know. It turns out she's been less than totally honest with me.
1. SLA is attracted to a client at her work and asks me what I think of that. I tell her she should wait to date--or at least check out the Employee's Handbook and see if that's acceptable. We both agree that it's probably not, and since he's going to move out in three weeks, she says they will wait.

2. The next call I get from SLA about a week later is that she's dating this guy, all her friends and family have deserted her, she's been fired and could I please come over ASAP. So I come over and meet the guy. He's cute and a real charmer-smoothie.

3. Gradually the sad story takes shape. I'm not sure I have it all straight yet as parts don't make sense to me but here's what seems to have happened:

-Sleazeball and SLA were drinking at her apartment and her best friend and her guy come over. SB and best friend's man get into a big fight and the other couple leaves.

-Somehow best friend talks to SLA's older sister and tells her that SLA was drinking with a client when she had to go into work that night.

-Older sister calls up SLA's work and tells them this. (this part doesn't totally make sense to me as SLA's older sister is a kind person and protective of SLA)

-work calls SLA and tells her not to come in that night but report to the head guy in the morning.

-SLA is fired from her job, but Sleazeball promises that he will take care of her--she won't have to work.

-SLA's family, including her two children (one from out of town) come to her house for an "intervention" Sleazeball gets into it with all of her family and there very nearly is violence. They all leave in a huff and SLA calls me up to come over. She tells me the above sad story, missing a few details, such as she had been recently picked up for DUI and her family had called the police on Sleazeball because of his threats.

-SLA sets up a meeting with her two kids, trying to reconcile. When she returns, she calls me and sounds hopeful that things are going to be OK. When she gets off the phone SB tells her that there was a police car outside of the house as soon as she had left. Mysteriously, it had (conveniently, too) left before she returned. SLA is fired up once more and again is angry at her family.

-SLA gives me a ride to and from my hospital procedure, she also makes me chicken noodle soup.

-The following day, after a morning of X-rays and tests and an afternoon of work I come home and SLA and SB insist that I go out with them. I really don't want to go, am exhausted but SB plays the "friend" card and tells me that I "owe it to them because of the rides and the soup" I get stuck with a pretty wicked bar tab because nobody else has any money with them. There goes my grocery money. Good thing I have soup leftover at home, haha!

-I'm not liking this guy and ask SLA bluntly if he's giving her money for rent and expenses and helping her as he lives with her. She tells me that he has a lawn care job and an offer of a police job. They had showed me a letter supposedly from the police department the very first time I had met him. She tells me that he is helpful and generous (which later turns out to be wrong) and has been steadily giving her money to help out.

-I'm pretty much forced to go out with them again to celebrate their engagement. They tell me that SB will be gone out of town for three days for a police training.

-The very next day SLA calls me up, frightened and crying. She's way overdrawn, SB is out of town and can't be reached. Turns out he hasn't given her a dime but has been using up all of her money and then some to buy a fancy TV, DVD player, new clothes, movies and other stuff. And not only is he out of town but he's taken all of his stuff away from her apartment. In fact he had her help him with "logical" reasons why he needed to take all of his stuff (that she had bought-and some of it wasn't his stuff, but their stuff)

-I try to get SLA to call the police but she keeps hoping he'll get back to her on the cell phone she had bought for him. Finally on Thursday she calls the police for both states, where she lives and where he lived and files police reports. She only does this because I tell her that if she doesn't the police will be looking for HER because of the huge overdraft. There doesn't seem to be a lot the police can do. There even is a name for this fraud, the "SWEETHEART SCAM" But at least the bank sounds sympathetic after seeing the police reports. They close down her account and tell her to try to recover as much as she can.

-The Sleazeball had SLA drop the fancy TV and some of the toys at a "friend's place" which was another boarding house. I call out there on Thursday and find that Sleazeball has MOVED there and SLA inadvertently helped him move there. They also say he has been in and out, so hasn't been flown out of town for a police training after all. What a surprise. I talk to the manager there who sounds like a nice, reasonable man who doesn't want any trouble. He agrees to let SLA come and get the stuff as long as she has recent receipts for it (she does). I'm thinking this may end up not as bad as it looked at first.

-I was thinking too optimistically! SLA calls the manager and tells him that the police insist that Sleazeball be present when SLA comes to get her stuff. The manager had been willing to just let her get the stuff before she told him that. Now they need to have the Sleazeball present. This is going to be a problem because SLA says she still loves him, that there must be a mistake, etc and etc. She doesn't do anything on Friday but plans to go get her stuff on Saturday (today) go to the store and return it, then to the bank with the money. I haven't heard from her since Friday afternoon so I bet he's talked her out of it. I think I wash my hands of this situation.

-SLA had suggested when this first starting coming down that she could move in with me because I have the entire downstairs unoccupied. Although it sounds very coldhearted, I (half)joked that I needed a roommate with some money! SLA moving in with me would mean the Sleazeball would have access to my keys, my account numbers and other documents. I'd be supporting the both of them. No thanks.

Whew. That was the week that was! Better times are coming up and I'll write about them next time.

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Blogger Walker said...

I should just say Happy Birthday and leave it at that but……
I think you are a very good friend and your friend SLA sounds like a desperate woman who probably believes that pigs can fly.
I think you are more of a friend to her than she is to you because when Sleaze Ball (which by the way is to kind of a name to call the piece of S*it) stuck you with the bill she should have jumped in on your behalf.
You didn’t need the ride, you could have taken yourself and HE imposed himself on you at the bar.

He on the other hand is a smart bastard, by getting her to help him move the stuff she can’t even have him charged with theft and could say the stuff was a gift from her if he was confronted with police.

This guy has cost her, her job, friends and family and she still loves him.
Does she have a picture of this rat, if she does this is what she should do.
Photo copy it and put it on every post, tree in the neighbourhood he lives in, around the kareokee bars he hangs out at and any other place he goes to warning every woman that may become a victim for this predator.
That’s what he is, a predator and he probably has his next mark already lined up.
It’s so sad there are people like him in this world.

If you let her move in with you, you’ll only be inviting more trouble your way and if you do break down and let her move in explain to her that you will get a restraining order against him from coming near your place.
Friends can be a pain in the ass, who needs enemies?

I hope next week is much quieter for you and you have a nice Sunday

12:21 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Good golly miss molly!! Blimey, i take a leave of absence from visiting my blog friends ( because of work commitments) and look at everything i've missed!!
I'm so glad i managed to comment just in time for your birthday, many happy returns! ((((hugs))))
Hope you are happy, healthy and well :o)

1:38 AM  
Blogger Gypsy said...

Very, very Happy Birthday and I am so glad that better times are ahead. I don't envy the position you are being put in. It sounds like SLA and SB are a package deal and if you let her move in you will inevitably be at his mercy too. You certainly don't need THAT.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Lorna said...

You've got such good advice already, and you're so centred that I'm just going to wish you a happy birthday and a lovely time with your son and his friend.

6:11 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

You can't fix the fact that she allowed herself to be taken advantage of. She musn't be allowed to do it to you. I don't think she realizes it that way...but if she won't free herself of this cockroach...she will be allowing it to happen to you. You've got to be strong and not let her do it to you. You've enough on your plate. You can't carry her water too.

And Happy Birthday!

2:48 AM  
Blogger BikerCandy said...

I'll leave the advice to Walker, he usually is right anyway. So, I'll just say Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful time with your son. Enjoy yourself!

8:55 AM  

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